Category: Misc

By the end of last week, I’d kinda had it. Not that anything catastrophic had occurred, but just many little things had all kind of piled on. Stuff at work. Stuff at home. Even kinda dumb things, like the fact that my beloved car of over 11 years is getting near the end of its life (per our trusted mechanic). It was all bumming me out.

I worked from home Friday, which is typically a mood elevator for me. I can be in my jimjams and warm slippers and overindulge in tea. But even that wasn’t really doing it for me.

But then came Sunday afternoon. I was even more exhausted after a day of car shopping. I’d gotten up, gotten a shower, done the grocery store deal and come home. Tabby was working on her science fair project with her friend, Dom, and Ben was doing what Ben does: playing Fortnite.

We were getting ready to have a small family celebration for Tabby’s birthday and she’d requested the fairly intricate rosemary chicken potato pizza (this is way more delicious than it sounds). You have to make the dough, marinate the chicken, cook the potatoes, make the shallot butter “sauce,” cook the chicken, shape the dough, top the pizzas, etc.

I wasn’t super thrilled about doing allllll that cooking on my one “day off” but of course, what she wants on her b’day, she gets. So I started in on it. And I don’t know why, but I told Alexa to shuffle songs by James Taylor.

And though I was on my feet doing “manual labor” somehow, with my tasks at hand, James Taylor in the background, snow coming down like crazy outside, working with Matt and listening to Tabby and her friend do their thing, my funk lifted. It was just so good to be there, doing something I enjoy with all my people hanging under one roof, safe and sound and happy. No TV in the background, just a little James Taylor and happy chatter.

You just never know.

These days, I get up early. I go to the gym 3-4 times a week. I get into the office early, not only so I can be productive, but so that I can get home early enough to enjoy family life.

These days our life is full. The kids have lots of activities – piano, violin, robotics, girl scouts and swimming for Tabby and piano, swimming and karate for Ben – and Matt and I have many interests of our own.

These days we don’t worry so much about sniffles and sleeping through the night … we worry about peer pressure and social media … having the right friends, the right skills and developing character.

These days just Matt and I frequently go out to run errands and have dinner or lunch. It’s nice being just the two of us, but we miss the kids and we can see a future when it’s just the two of us at home which is a bit hard to wrap our heads around.

These days we travel a lot. We enjoy seeing new places and being with friends and getting away from our somewhat chaotic daily lives. We enjoy being with the kids in a focused way.

These days our house is organized chaos. It’s a constant effort to keep clutter and mess at bay, but it’s vibrant and noisy and fun. It’s full of snacks and friends and papers from school and sheet music and mis-matched socks and the smells of cooking.

These days the kids love their books. Ben loves Calvin and Hobbes and The Penderwicks, Diary of a Wimpy Kid and Dork Diaries. Tabby loves all the Percy Jackson books plus whatever she has to read for school.

These days the kids also love their video games. Tabby loves The Sims and Ben loves Fortnite and Roadblocks. They like the idea of programming but don’t do it as much as we would like.

These days Tabby is pretty all-consumed by school. She takes math along with the advanced 8th graders and does all honor classes plus Spanish and Orchestra. After school she does robotics and concert jazz band. She loves to chat with me and thinks Girl Scouts is still so much fun.

These days Ben is on the cusp of young adulthood but not quite there yet. He still likes to snuggle and listen to books with me and hold his lovies tight. I know time will soon be robbing me of this little boy and while I keep helping him to gain independence and take on responsibility, there are parts of him I want to stay young.

These days Matt and I like to go on long walks around the neighborhood. We discuss finances, issues at work, the kids and plans for the future. We double date with other couples but have trouble finding people to travel with. We make an effort to be together and always be communicating because life is busy but our relationship is important.

These days we both work a lot. We are responsible leaders in our organizations. I volunteer with the library and as a Girl Scout leader. We have to be responsible at home too, keeping everyone fed and the house more or less clean and organized.

These days I “dress to impress” Monday through Friday in tailored outfits with appropriate jewelry, subtle makeup and cute shoes. The weekends and work at home days I revel in yoga pants, t’shirts with snappy sayings and cozy sweatshirts.

These days Matt loves working in his shop. He makes beautiful things, frequently for us, sometimes with friends. He also plays video games and argues with people/gives people advice on Reddit.

These days I still enjoy video games but I spend a lot of time on watercolor and brush lettering. I also have no idea what music is popular because I listen almost exclusively to podcasts and audio books.

These days Cocoa isn’t the sweet terror she once was. She’s now developed into a pretty nice dog who’s actually fun to take places. She still doesn’t much like food and does a poor job cleaning up after the kids. She is a major source of joy in our lives.

These days we see our Nashville family a few times a year – mostly they travel to visit us or we vacation together. It’s a real treat for the kids to get to see everyone and we’re always excited for it.

These days we see Dad and Kelly for Sunday dinner and at other times just about every week. And we love to travel together. Dad is doing well aside from a few aches and pains, taking exotic fishing vacations and hiking and camping. Kelly is working hard at her job and enjoying her leisure time with us and her friends.

These days I still miss Mom daily but the quality is more nostalgic than painful, except when it isn’t. The worst times are when I want her advice, but can’t get it. I can conjure her up in my mind and still get an answer, but it isn’t the same, of course. I wish she was here so I could see her seeing the kids grow and hear her laugh.

These days life is good. I look at the people around me, the work I get to do and the fun time I get to enjoy and feel sincere gratitude for my life and especially the people in it.

It’s hard to believe 2018 is almost over. I revert to Gretchen Rubin’s saying – The days are long, but the years are short.

1. What was the single best thing that happened this past year?
   What a great year. It’s so hard to pick! I think I will pick our Cruise to New England and Canada as that encompasses great time with people I love and seeing amazing sights.
2. What was the single most challenging thing that happened?
   My workload took a somewhat unexpected uptick and adjusting to that has been difficult but also an interesting challenge.
3. What was an unexpected joy this past year?
   The ups and downs of preteens not withstanding, it has been just lovely hanging with Tabby. I love hearing her thoughts on things and getting to know her as she evolves into this newly minted mini adult.
4. What was an unexpected obstacle?
   We knew having a puppy would be crazy, but the day-to-day, especially in the early months was very challenging – lots of running home from work early to let her out while Matt was travelling and busting home from skiing, etc. to do the same. So worth it, of course.
5. Pick three words to describe this past year.
   Busy. Wonderful. Loud.
6. Pick three words your partner would use to describe your year.
   Productive. Fun. Crazy.
7. What were the best books you read this year?
   Harry’s Trees, The Hate U Give, The Power of Moments, Grit
8. Who were your most valuable relationships with?
   Matt, Tabby, Ben, Kelly, Dad, a handful of close friends
9. What was your biggest personal change from January to December of this past year?
   I think I’ve gotten better about working to take time for myself and to really sink into chilling again.
10. In what way(s) did you grow emotionally?
    I am better about taking certain situations in stride and not personalizing them.
11. In what way(s) did you grow spiritually?
    I’ve spent a lot more time on reflection and gratitude, which I think has given me better perspective.
12. In what way(s) did you grow physically?
    I’m a better runner than I was last year (slowly gaining this back).
13. In what way(s) did you grow in your relationships with others?
    I have learned to be a bit more chill with the kids and Matt. There are still expectations, but I don’t think I’m as rigid about certain things.
14. What was the most enjoyable part of your work (both professionally and at home)?
    The impact that it had on my coworkers (work) and family (home).
15. What was the most challenging part of your work (both professionally and at home)?
    Living up to my (admittedly pretty high) expectations and also keeping on track for long stretches – things come up!
16. What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?
    Probably social media.
17. What was the best way you used your time this past year?
    Toss up between time with my loved ones and my planning and reflection time.
18. What was biggest thing you learned this past year?
    Consistency is key.
19. Create a phrase or statement that describes this past year for you.
    My heart is full. My arms are full. I am grateful.

Todoist
Todoist is really more than an app – it’s a task system – and the best I’ve found so far. I used Remember the Milk for years (one of the first of its kind) and I still like it for lists, but Todoist has the #1 spot in my heart for ToDoing.

The thing I like most about it is the way it gathers items into lists of what needs to be done on THAT PARTICULAR DAY. You just set a date when you enter your item and if you’re looking at the date filtered interface, you don’t see anything that’s pertinent to that day. This also means that in the vein of a tickler/43 folders setup, you can enter an item months ahead that has to be done on a certain day and it will be there. And if you need to see all.the.things. of course, there’s an interface for that too. You can also set reminders for specific times for your items. 

Additionally, the entry interface is very easy/slick. It’s a single line and automatically picks up hashtagged categories/projects and dates and priorities. 

And last but not least, it has a gamification/accountability component that I find compelling. Every day I’m trying to get to To Do List zero which means I’ve either completed or postponed every item. I’m also trying to get a set number of tasks done daily and weekly. I can get streaks that I don’t want to break and points that level me up. It also has features for delegation and teams but I haven’t used those too much yet. 

Aaptiv
This one has been widely publicized, but if you haven’t heard of it yet, check it out. It has workouts that stream into your earbuds: treadmill, strength training, outdoor running, stretching, yoga, elliptical, meditation, walking, and more. They’ve got different trainers and a few different music selections to work with. 

It’s one of the most portable workouts out there and a really simple way to get those active minutes in. It has some accountability features too: you can calendar workouts, accumulate miles, calories, etc., and get reminders. 

It is not free though you can get it free for 30 days. I initially got it for going on our cruise and I ended up keeping it for a year and it’s been nice. And because it’s got a bunch of things, it feels more cost effective than services that just give you yoga or meditation or running workouts. Additionally, you are able to download workouts for those wifi-free sojourns. 

Skillshare
Skillshare is another app I’ve actually been willing to pay for. It is an app that provides video classes on a HUGE variety of topics. I got 3 months for 99c last January to help one of my 2018 goals – watercolor (which I’ve totally rocked, BTW) and kept it because I really do enjoy it.  

I’ve so far only used it for artistic/design stuff but there are lots more including scarf tying, interior decor, guitar, cooking, languages, business, technology and on and on. And you can also download classes for those wifi free times. 

Mile IQ
Mile IQ  automatically tracks all the miles I drive and sends them to me via email for reimbursement. All I have to do is classify them as personal or business and after you classify the same drive a couple times, it will ask you if you want to create a rule about that route (i.e. always personal or business and there are some subcategories too). 

It’s not a sexy or exciting app, but it saves me money. Though I paid for it – think it’s $49/year) – I have already made my money back as I have been historically awful about turning in my miles for work for reimbursement and I tend to leave quite a bit of $$ on the table, especially since my miles driven for work have increased over the past few years. 

Grateful
Grateful is a sweet little app where you simply record a few things from each day that you’re grateful for. It’s got a simple, visually pleasing interface. 

Timehop
Timehop is a perrenial favorite of mine. I’ve been using it for years. Each day it shows you what happened that day last year (it also syncs up holidays that occur on different dates each year, like Thanksgiving) so that you get a fun little walk down memory lane each day. It also serves to keep me motivated to keep at least taking photos each day! 

The Roku App
If you use any Roku devices, this is a must-have app. It does a couple of absolutely key things: 1) plays a sound on your Roku remote when it’s missing, 2) serves as a backup remote for your Roku and 3) allows you a keyboard interface for your Roku when it’s just tooooo painful to arrow to every letter of your 2392382 character password. 

You can also stream photos and music from your phone to your Roku AND you can use your phone for “private listening” from your Roku device (i.e. have the Roku stream sound to your device that you can then in turn listen to on headphones so as not to disturb others). 

Meditation has become a thing. I think in the same way that yoga and pilates and barre class and spin class all seriously had their moments, so now does meditation. Everyone is talking about it to the point now when someone brings it up, you just kind of roll your eyes and continue on with your day.

But you can’t escape hearing about the supposed amazing benefits that come with meditation which have even (largely) been backed up by science: 

• better focus
• less anxiety
• better immune system
• improved emotional well-being
• and on and on and on 

If you read all of the info out there and even half of it is true, I’m pretty sure your car will wash itself and your children will be straight-A angels with enough meditation. 

I’ve personally had a checkered past with meditation. I am slightly hyper-active and do not do well sitting still. I also tend to fill my days and carving out even 5 minutes to sit and be present isn’t really in my nature. Frankly, even if I wanted to do it, I would usually forget. 

But still, the meditation talk keeps surfacing and it’s hard to ignore. But the most compelling reason I’ve found to meditate came from a book called The Willpower Instinct. This book is all about practical ways to improve willpower and a great read in and of itself. But what it said about meditation was great – just trying to meditate, even if it doesn’t feel successful is successful. 

Say you sit down to meditate for 5 minutes and in those five minutes, you spend about 30 seconds thinking about your breathing, another 45 thinking about that cool dog you saw and oh yea, your own dog needs a bath and brush and where did the kids put the hairbrush that’s supposed to live in the swim bag and do we have swimming next week? Oh wait, I’m supposed to be meditating, yes, ohm, back to the breathing. Rinse and repeat for the next 2 minutes. I’m sure someone out there can relate.

But the cool thing is that every time you pull your mind back to your breath or whatever you’re focusing on in the present, you are training yourself as though it’s a muscle you have to build. 

So this is why, every morning before I work out, I’ve been making a conscious effort to spend 5-10 minutes in meditation – sometimes guided, sometimes just music or sitting or whatever. I can’t say I feel great at it, but maybe I’m better? Or if not at least it’s training my brain.

But the last couple of days, I’ve found another activity that I think produces some of the same “must be present to win” mentality. Playing the piano.

Off and on for the past few years, I’ve been working on playing the piano again. I played for years in my youth and while I enjoyed it, I wasn’t into making the huge commitment to it that my (slightly crazy) piano teacher demanded. I also didn’t feel like playing the thousand sonatinas she wanted me to play – I wanted to play music that was fun/meaningful to me. So between that and lack of regular access to an instrument during college, I pretty much abandoned it. 

So slowly, in fits and starts, I’ve regained some of my piano prowess. I recently took on learning a Chocobo piece (this is not a little-known composer, but a video-game related composition – Final Fantasy – anyone?). It’s pretty complex, but I’ve made great headway with it.

But, I absolutely fall apart playing it if I’m even the littlest bit distracted. I suppose that in and of itself isn’t surprising, but I think the implication is important. I must be present, focused, and in flow to play well and because I am training my brain to stay in that focused, flow state to play, I am kind of meditating.

I don’t think I’m saying that it replaces my other practice, but I do love the idea that playing the piano is helping train my mind. One more reason to play. 

Times were, my design style could have been described as “more is more.” Bright colors – lots of them. Fonts – as many as I could make work, the crazier the better … and the whole page filled. And while I can still go a little crazy sometimes, my style is much more subdued these days. I’ve learned to embrace the whitespace.

And so has it been with our lives over the past few weeks. After an exceptionally crazy last few months that included that crazy week I described in my last post, it’s been calmer. And I been loving it.

We’ve spent a LOT of time at home. We’ve actively avoided making plans (so unlike us). There’s been more cooking, baking, watercoloring, piano playing, dog-park going, neighborhood walking and movie watching.

I also love that it’s given me more time for thinking, not just reacting. I’ve been able to look at what’s going on in my life and actually have some breathing room to assess and think and reflect. I have been able to make some improvements and tackle some projects that will make my life easier. All still while enjoying some quiet moments. 

The calendar for the whole coming month looks mercifully blank. Just a few events. December is a bit of a ramp-up, and I know we’ll probably be spending more weekends in the new year attempting to make good use of our ski passes, but I’m committing to finding a little more balance and continuing to embrace the whitespace.