How DO I do it??

Saturday night, as I mentioned, I met up with my moms group. Most of the moms in the group are stay-at-home moms and the subset that I met up with that night, with the exception of one (who works about 10 hours/wk), were all SAHMs. We had a decent amount of time to chat before the show and it was weird, but most of the moms seemed to think that being a working mom (especially one with varied interests and a balanced-ish life) was impossible (or the next-door neighbor to it). And while I agree that it ain't easy, it's certainly not impossible. So I've been reflecting since then … how do I get things done? Here's what I've come up with:

• firstly, I have an amazing “support system” – a term which seems inadequate to describe Matt and our family and friends. Matt is a completely hands-on dad who pulls his weight with Tabby and household chores and is incredibly supportive and respectful of my need for time to get a few things accomplished. My parents and sister and extended family are thrilled to babysit while Matt and I have a date or just come over and watch Tabby so Matt and I can garden. And, for example, when our babysitter was off for a week, everyone from our friends to Matt's brother (who's still in college) pitched in to watch her for us so we could work.
• the kind of job I have – I have a great job and a great boss where I am free (within reason) to create my own hours … I need to be there most of the work week during most of the day, and sometimes if a big project hits, I'll be at work late for a few days, but I can also take work home sometimes and pick and choose my hours somewhat (as long as I meet my 40 hours for the week) to cater to the other arenas of my life and beyond that, I am able to get a few personal things done at work … I'm not talking egregious expenditures of company time for my personal crap, but I can get a few moments to make a phone call, send an email, update a list, take a deep breath, etc. without a cute little girl climbing on my lap• multi-tasking – I both believe in and abhor multi-tasking, so I try to be pretty selective about it … certain things just NEED my focus, like people, for example, but I wouldn't get nearly as much done if I couldn't multi-task, so I listen to audio books while I drive and at work while I program … and I rarely never watch TV unless I'm on the treadmill or have my laptop out, writing a post or checking email or uploading/organizing photos or (rarely) playing The Sims
• having a plan – Around my company, we have a mantra that goes, “If you fail to plan you plan to fail,” and I really believe in this. I organize and plan A LOT … I have a menu for the week. I know, generally speaking, when I'm going to be at work, play with Tabby, exercise, get errands done, get housework done … I keep to do lists and a calendar for every member of the family and I'm a huge nerd about updating them. We don't live and die by the schedule, but we definitely have a plan.
• staffing it out – the house would constantly be a wreck if we didn't have someone come clean every other week … not only because she gets a lot of the nitty gritty housework done for me, but also because it forces me to pick up and put away on AT LEAST a bi-weekly basis. I declutter, she cleans. We are also lucky enough to have a great babysitter who treats Tabby basically like one of her own.
• flexibility – this may seem counter intuitive to my obsessive planning item, but I feel like flexibility plays a huge role in being able to get things done. I do not obsess about getting Tabby to bed at a certain time. Of course I try to shoot for a certain window (and almost always make it), but once in a while, she's going to stay up late and that's OK. I will likewise push my own bedtime here and there to spend extra time with Matt or finish a project. Some days I just can't handle the thought of cooking, so we go out.
• keeping on top of it – I've found that it's really key to keep on top of things … a small mound of work daily, at least for me, is much less daunting than a HUGE pile of work a few days later. Before I go to bed, the kitchen is clean. I'd like to say the same about my desk, but that's my next hurdle. When mail comes in, I toss the junk immediately and strip down the rest (getting rid of envelopes, etc.) and set it aside to go upstairs to my desk. I try to process and upload photos within a day of taking them. Laundry is done weekly. So is grocery shopping and cleaning the fridge (at least most weeks!).
• prioritizing – I have had to cut back on some things since Tabby was born and make some hard decisions about what really matters to me. A perfectly clean house is out of the question. Our windows need to be washed and this probably won't happen for a while. I have a whole room full of craft supplies that I have barely touched in over 15 months. I don't play video games much anymore. But I get to take Tabby to the park and play chase the baby instead. Which I love … A LOT. I always try to think about what I'd prefer to look back on my life and have done … playing video games ranks pretty low. Spending time with my family ranks pretty high.

Frequent reads/links on organization that I like:
• 43 Folders – devotees of Getting Things Done discuss productivitiy
• LifeHacker – making technology work FOR YOU
• ParentHacks –
• Cozi – great family calendar and list system
• google reader – pulls all that I want to read (web wise) together, and lets me skim through it quickly and save the good stuff for later
• Everyday Food – I get lots of meal ideas from this magazine that are quick and healthy.

I really am not trying to toot my own horn here (I hate that phrase, btw). I hesitate even to post this, because I feel as though I'm putting myself up as some sort of paragon of motherhood … which I'm not. And I don't have it down perfectly by any means. Some days/weeks/months, I feel like I'm drowning in to-dos and getting by mostly on caffeine and adreneline. But 80% of the time, I feel pretty in control and I'm pretty proud of what I can accomplish and if this little list can help even one mama feel more in control, it's worth it. How do the rest of you keep things going?