Posted on

Responsibility

bensetstable

One of my big goals for the new year was to get our family organized with chores, allowance, etc. Raising kids who understand the value of hard work and the We’ve been talking about this for a long time and going over the way we wanted to structure all of this. We want the kids to have allowance, but we debated over whether we should tie it to chores or not and ultimately decided not. We decided to have them do certain daily chores that they are expected to do just because they are a member of our family, things like unloading the dishwasher (silverware caddy and kids cups at this point), setting the table, keeping their rooms neat, hanging up their backpacks and the like. I didn’t like the idea though that there was no penalty if they didn’t do them, so we tied these to screen time. For each chore they complete, they get 5 min of screen time.

Then there was the matter of money. An article I read that was a proponent of not tying chores to allowance suggested the idea of making kids gradually more responsible for “fiscal chores” – things like buying their own popcorn at the movies or food for their pet or later things like car insurance and gas. I like this idea – I think it is a good introduction to the realities of how much things cost and how far money doesn’t go. So we decided we’d do $5 for Tabby. $1 each of that will go to savings and givings and the remaining $3 is hers to spend as she likes. But she is now responsible for buying her own hot lunch. Hot lunch at $2.50 is one of Tabby’s favorite treats and the $3 would cover it if she wanted it. But since hot lunch is also a treat for mommy and daddy, we decided that every time she made her own lunch she would earn $1.25 so that she can fairly easily earn a hot lunch by just making her lunch twice. We also added a couple of little chores for extra bank, things like vacuuming the main level of the house or the couch and tidying the bathroom that both she and Ben use. And we likewise incentivized doing pages in her math workbook and writing sentences by offering her a reward of $0.25 for every 2 pages she does – reading a book daily is just among her screentime chores. I would also like for her to start running again and I think a $1/mile incentive might be just what she needs.

Ben had to be handled a bit differently. At 3, he just can’t do what his sister can and he doesn’t have the same experiences or understanding. We also tied his chores to screentime and they are largely the same chores. He can’t quite make his bed yet, but he can pick up his room, lay out his clothes and do about 2/3 of what Tabby can do. But we set his allowance at $3. It isn’t coincidence that their allowances align with their age. We plan to up them each birthday, by a dollar at first and then as needed later on. Ben’s $3 is only divided into spending and giving. Saving and other long-term things seem to be still quite a bit beyond him, so he gets $2 to spend every week and $1 to give to others. Being only 3, we decided he wouldn’t get any “fiscal chores” just yet. He can also earn a little extra money by helping us with his lunch. Just $0.50 since we still have to be very involved.

Lastly we wanted there to be some kind of “good citizenship” accountability. Ben in particular has been having a hard time with some behavior – he had two major tantrums while we were in Vail and we’d like to discourage that as well as Tabby’s dramatic/whiny streak. In the end, we decided to grade them daily on the concepts of “good choices,” “good attitude,” and “good manners” and then reward them with things like an extra book at bedtime, a trip for frozen yogurt or a family outing. They also have to work together to agree on a reward, so that furthers the cooperation idea. A trip to time out automatically loses their “good choices” point for the day.

Sound complicated? A bit. So we needed a good way to administrate it. Luckily, there’s an app for that. See  my post tomorrow … and an update on how it’s going.

Posted on

Tabby in 2012

tabby2012

This was such a big year for Tabby. We got many comments on our Christmas card that she suddenly looks so much older. And man it’s true. I’m shocked every once in a while when I catch a glimpse of her and see her as this big girl! We at least in maturity. In actual size, she’s still tiny, but hey, her mama’s only 5′ tall.

Obviously, the biggest thing in Tabby’s year was starting school. We love her teacher and her school and we’re amazed at the progress she’s made. She’s reading like a champ (suddenly pointing out this word or that word all over the place) and making major mental leaps in every other area of her life. After school she’s been great at amusing herself while Matt is working. She draws a lot and likes to write adorable little books about bunnies and such.

Princess Tabby at your service.
Princess Tabby at your service.

She’s been taking climbing classes all fall and she’s been having a lot of fun with that. But now she wants to try some other things out and it looks like she’ll be taking ice skating or tennis next. I also want to get her back into swimming! At home we’ve been introducing new small chores as we see opportunity. She has responsibilities for her own possessions and school work and has to do things like empty the silverware basket and put the kid cups in their bin. She loves to help with cooking and she’s always keen to do any project.

I’m excited to see what 2013 has in store for her. She’s excited to get out skiing and already asking about what kind of party she can have for her birthday. I confess to missing her as a baby now and again, but she is so sweet and a I love being able to hear the funny and interesting things that go through her head.

Posted on

The Petting Game

The Nichols household is currently in the throes of pet selection. It all started with our trip to Nashville. Tabby saw a mouse trapped in a sticky trap. It was all she told her classmates about her trip to Nashville. It is all she has wanted to talk about lately. And it culminated in some bizarre justice scales thing where she MUST HAVE A PET MOUSE. So she and Matt setup some system where she does her “chores” – which basically consist of keeping her room neat, putting away her backpack and lunch dishes, performing the small tasks we assign to her (put away silverware, set the table, etc.) – for 25 days, she could earn her pet mouse.

It’s all been a bit fuzzy because my Project Manager husband (engineer of this whole scheme) didn’t implement a chart or anything to track progress (hmmmmm). But it has been a constant with her – working on her chores and asking about the mouse. As M-day has drawn nearer, we’ve been hedging on the whole thing. Not that we won’t let her get a pet, we will, but to me, mice are something you … well find in a sticky trap or feed to a snake (sorry). They don’t really seem like pets. Add into that the fact that they smell a bit and don’t live terribly long and I’m just not convinced. So I have made some alternative suggestions to mouse ownership, namely gerbil or hedgehog ownership. So let’s meet our bachelors:

1. Bachelor #1 The Fancy Mouse –

Despite (in my mind at least) being more of the classification of “pest” or “food” these guys are really pretty cute. They are constantly active and everyone insists they can be tamed and make good companions. Their cost of ownership is LOW since they and their supplies are cheap and they require no veterinarian examinations. On the downside, they tend to be smellier than some other small animals and they do not live terribly long.

2. Bachelor #2: The Gerbil –

My sister and I had gerbils growing up. Matt and I had some gerbils when we were in college. We know and like gerbils. They, like the mice, are a low cost of ownership and they can also (we know first hand) can be very docile and friendly. Being desert creatures, they require little food and water and they have no discernible odor. They live slightly longer than mice.

3. Bachelor #3: The Hedgehog –

Hedgehogs are cute as hell. They are a sort of higher-level mammal and they seem to be very docile (we just visited some at a pet store yesterday) and nice to play with. They don’t have quite the same inherently jumpy twitchy personality of mice or gerbils (though as I said before, that can be somewhat calmed out of the mice & gerbils) and as an added “fun” thing, they can SWIM! On the down side, they are hugely expensive, especially if you want to get a pair. And there’s also the spikes. They can’t throw them like a porcupine, but they can become quite prickly when they’re scared or agitated. But they do live upwards of 8 years … which kind of goes both ways.

For her money, our Bachelorette, Miss Tabby, is not entirely certain what she wants, just that she wants a little snuggly pet. She seems to be most fascinated with the animal she last held, so I want to give it some time – we will not be getting a new pet in any case until we’re back from our post-Christmas ski trip – and really give her some time to make up her mind.

Posted on

All About the Weekend

This weekend actually seemed longer than normal – in a good way. Talking, we think what did it was the fact that my parents had the kids on Friday night (they typically take them on Sat night). I got lots of stuff done Friday and Saturday too so that we had almost all day Sunday to just be. It was very very nice.

Friday was my day off and I volunteered at Tabby’s school and mostly just did housework … other than the 3 or 4 hours I spent on a work project. It is hard for me to get away right now. After Matt got off work, we dropped the kids off at my parents’ house and grabbed some food at Qdoba and brought it home to eat with margaritas while we played video games. We’ve gotten really into an old school Final Fantasy (SNES) that we downloaded on the Wii and we had a great time playing that.

Saturday morning we went for a run and then got some errands done – we had to pick up white shirts for a photo shoot and buy a birthday gift and of course, groceries. By the time we went to get the kids from my parents’ house, it was after 12 and we too them right home for a quick lunch and a nap. We headed out right after nap to a friend’s 40th birthday party. The house was packed with people of all ages. We had a great time chatting with our friends and the kids went mad in the basement with Legos and games and eventually had a dance party with glowsticks in the darkened living room.

The kids were exhausted when we got home after 9 and no one complained even a little when we put them right to bed. Unfortunately, the night was not over since Ben woke up at midnight to puke all over his bed. After a shower, we moved him into the little toddler bed we still have in his room and he woke only once more, though happily no more puking.

He was pretty subdued all day Sunday and didn’t eat much. That worked out well because we didn’t do much all day. We had breakfast, cleaned up the house a little, lounged on the couch and played video games and watched TV. The kids had naps and in the late afternoon we ran an errand. Around 4:45 I started making dinner and it err … didn’t go well. See I tried a new recipe, Butternut Squash Gnocchi, and completely missed the step where you cook out excess moisture. So I  kept adding flour and kept adding and adding and could barely get it into dough and when I did, it tasted awful, like pure flour (pretty much was). We ended up calling for a pizza.

After dinner we suited the kids up in their costumes and headed to the community center down the street for the kids’ Halloween party. It wasn’t too well attended, but we had a nice time. Our favorite neighbor was there painting faces and she did a glittery blushy lipsticky job on our little butterfly that looked awesome. Tabby is going to go back over and have her do a repeat on the big night.

By the time we got home it was bedtime for the kids and back to the kitchen for me. I made 20 ghost-shaped rice krispie treat pops for the kids in T’s class. It was a delicate balance between melting and freezing. Sticks had to go in when soft. Candy coating had to go on when frozen. Had to be refrozen for wrapping, etc. etc. Matt helped me a while and then took off to meet the neighborhood guys for the Bronco’s game. I finished up in plenty of time, but ignored my OCD ways and left cleanup for another day.

Posted on

The Color Red

Two stories involving the color red:

Story #1 – Tabby: So I lay out an outfit for Tabby almost every night. Last night it was her red Harajuku Mini top and a pair of yoga-style capris. I also laid out socks and underwear, but not shoes. So she got dressed this AM and I encouraged her to wear some tennis shoes since Thursday is running club day. But she, of course, wanted to wear the sparkly shoes that my mom got her. They’re pretty good school shoes with rubbery bottoms and all, but they’re not great for running. But if Tabby makes a stand anywhere, it’s on footwear. She loves shoes and tennies aren’t really her idea of high fashion. Suddenly, I remembered the red sparkle cons I’d bought her when she was around 2 yrs old. I loved them, but the only size they had them in was 13 (she was probably a 7 or 8 at the time). They were on sale, so I bought them anyhow and kept them until her foot hit the magic number. Unfortunately, that was late last spring. Not a lot of call for red sparkle cons in the summer months (4th of July primarily). But luckily her feet do not grow like they once did and so she donned the shoes this AM and couldn’t have looked cuter. She informed me that they are her new favorites since they are sparkly AND red (her favorite color).

Story #2 – Ben: Last night, everyone went to bed without much incident. They kids were tired and we got home way late. Ben has had a little cold and he has been waking up occasionally when he coughs a bunch. Usually he either goes back to sleep on his own or he just needs a pat on his back. But last night all hell broke loose over a red blanky. Ben has quite a few beloved blankies. None of them is red. Yet last night, after I stumbled half awake into his room, he repeatedly requested his “red blanky.” I offered up every blanky at hand (quite a few: brown, blue, Buzz, little Buzz, Buzz sheet) and after the Buzz sheet was offered, he seemed happy enough. So I started back to bed. I’d just gotten comfortable when he started screaming again. I went back in and he made the same red blanky request. I wondered if he meant the large blanket we keep in the popup. It’s never on his bed, but it is on ours and he comes to snuggle with us sometimes, so I suggested this and he vehemently insisted that it was HIS red blanky, not some other popup blanky. Finally, I turned on the light and asked him to point to something red. He pointed to the nearest GREEN thing and my mystery was solved. He has a very much beloved GREEN blanky which I quickly found for him and derailed BenCON 5. The whole thing is puzzling though because he definitely knows his colors. I can only assume he was in as much of a stupor as I was.

Posted on

Carnival!

Friday was the carnival at Tabby’s School.

 

 

The event kicks off with the fun run, just a 1 mile jog through the ‘hood. The fun run kicks off the school’s mileage club, a club where they run laps on lunch recess two days a week and they earn charms for various achievements. The fun run earned them their first charm and the necklace to put them on. Continue reading “Carnival!”

Posted on

Yogurt Cake

I think I might’ve mentioned that a couple of weeks ago, I read a book called Bringing Up Bebe, a comparison of French and American parenting. I really liked the book and enjoyed reading it and I was definitely intrigued by a passage in the book where a French woman was letting her 3 year old bake cupcakes … unassisted. And it hit me that Tabby can really do more than I let her. Granted, I let her do more in the kitchen than most other five-year-olds we know, but she is capable of more. It’s just because I’m a bit afraid of the mess. I’m the mom that makes the kids do playdough outside because I have no interest in cleaning all of those little bits up.

Anyhow, the book goes on to mention that most French children start out making yogurt cake when they’re around three. It is a neat idea because you use yogurt as part of the cake and then measure most of the rest of the ingredients with the empty yogurt containers. So I endeavored to be a bit less crazy and let Tabby and Ben have at it tonight.

Continue reading “Yogurt Cake”

Posted on

Kindergarten Girl

This morning after a quick breakfast and the ceremonial “finding of the shoes,” we set off to drop Miss Tabby off for her first day of kindergarten. It was a nice feeling with lots of folks walking along the same sidewalks and paths towards our neighborhood elementary school and when we saw the pileup of cars, we were extra grateful to be within walking distance.

Tabby went right into her classroom and hung up her backpack and before any time at all she was happily ensconced in a coloring project. She waved us off without a glance back. The day must have gone well from there on because she greeted us with smiles and tales of her day. Best of all, she can’t wait to go back tomorrow.

The evening was a little dicey. She was clearly exhausted from her long day but not very inclined to rest. I think we will insist on the rest tomorrow.

Posted on

Interruption

I am guessing I’m not the only parent who has trouble with their kids interrupting them. I feel sometimes like I can’t even complete a thought let alone a sentence when I’m talking on the phone or with Matt. I’ve tried some of the things that the “experts” suggest, like making sure I give them my undivided attention so they feel like they are heard. I’ve also gotten fed up and put the kids in time-out after repeated interruptions or just lost my temper. But nothing stopped making them interrupt, no matter how politely they did it, “Excuse me! Excuse me!”

So a week or so ago, I put Tabby in time out after constant interruptions, but when her time out was over, I talked to her. I explained to her that when she interrupted me it was like she was saying that what she had to say was more important than what I had to say. I asked her, was that the case? No, she said. Then I explained to her that it was pretty much saying that she was more important than me. Was that true, I asked? No, she said, everyone is equally important. Correct, I said. We talked about how hard it can be to wait, but that it was the polite, kind thing to do.

And just like that, it’s been days since my last interruption … from Tabby. Ben is a different story. We’ll civilize him one of these days! Maybe. I don’t know that it will be long-lasting, but so far this has been the only thing that’s even helped. So I’m hopeful. It is lovely to have her at an age where logic and reason are possible.

Posted on

Doodles and Such

While we were on vacation, Tabby and I spent some time doodling – in the Oodles of Doodles book to be exact. Doodle Books, in case you’re not familiar with the concept, are quite similar to coloring books but quite a bit more open-ended. Instead of a full picture for you to color, they provide a backdrop or a start to a picture and you fill it in with your own artwork. She is still very much in the learning-to-draw portion of things, but she and I were able to have a very good time filling up a few pages in the book. I plan to take it along again this weekend while we’re camping.

Yes, camping. Again. I am a bit exhausted just thinking about it, but we hadn’t taken Loki out in a while and we had the camper out to have it serviced, so it just made sense to go. No one was available to join us which was kind of a bummer, but also kind of good. It keeps things simpler and will give us time as a family. I’ve been downloading some books to read aloud to the kids and stuff like that.

I also have a few word games I’m planning to take with us. There’s a great site called Playdough to Plato (love that name!) that’s dedicated to fun learn-to-read games. Tabby is well on her way with the reading and can stumble through a lot of the early readers, but she’s been so into the whole thing that I want to help her make more progress. They’re also great because they can be adapted to the level Ben is at, recognizing letters. Most of them also only require some paper or notecards and some markers.

Here they are if you’re interested.

1. Climb to the top – kids roll a dice (made with a cube block and some sticky labels) with sight words or letters on each face and see which one of the six sides gets to the top of the chart first.

2. Same or different – a card is divided down the center with a line and then on each side of the line two letter or number combinations are written. The child then has to decide if they’re the same or different. This helps them to train themselves to visually differentiate between common words that are close to one another.

3. Showdown – you make two sets of cards with the same letters, numbers or words on them, varying in quantity and complexity based on the age of the child. You pick a card from your deck and read it. The child then has a few moments to shuffle through their pile and find the corresponding word/letter/number. Once he’s found it you say “1-2-3 SHOWDOWN!” and you both turn over your cards. If they match … YAY and if not, the child can go through their pile to find the matching one.

I also found this cute math game for addition. We regularly practice addition in the car with Tabby so I think she can handle it. Wonder if I have enough dice.