Responsibility

bensetstable

One of my big goals for the new year was to get our family organized with chores, allowance, etc. Raising kids who understand the value of hard work and the We’ve been talking about this for a long time and going over the way we wanted to structure all of this. We want the kids to have allowance, but we debated over whether we should tie it to chores or not and ultimately decided not. We decided to have them do certain daily chores that they are expected to do just because they are a member of our family, things like unloading the dishwasher (silverware caddy and kids cups at this point), setting the table, keeping their rooms neat, hanging up their backpacks and the like. I didn’t like the idea though that there was no penalty if they didn’t do them, so we tied these to screen time. For each chore they complete, they get 5 min of screen time.

Then there was the matter of money. An article I read that was a proponent of not tying chores to allowance suggested the idea of making kids gradually more responsible for “fiscal chores” – things like buying their own popcorn at the movies or food for their pet or later things like car insurance and gas. I like this idea – I think it is a good introduction to the realities of how much things cost and how far money doesn’t go. So we decided we’d do $5 for Tabby. $1 each of that will go to savings and givings and the remaining $3 is hers to spend as she likes. But she is now responsible for buying her own hot lunch. Hot lunch at $2.50 is one of Tabby’s favorite treats and the $3 would cover it if she wanted it. But since hot lunch is also a treat for mommy and daddy, we decided that every time she made her own lunch she would earn $1.25 so that she can fairly easily earn a hot lunch by just making her lunch twice. We also added a couple of little chores for extra bank, things like vacuuming the main level of the house or the couch and tidying the bathroom that both she and Ben use. And we likewise incentivized doing pages in her math workbook and writing sentences by offering her a reward of $0.25 for every 2 pages she does – reading a book daily is just among her screentime chores. I would also like for her to start running again and I think a $1/mile incentive might be just what she needs.

Ben had to be handled a bit differently. At 3, he just can’t do what his sister can and he doesn’t have the same experiences or understanding. We also tied his chores to screentime and they are largely the same chores. He can’t quite make his bed yet, but he can pick up his room, lay out his clothes and do about 2/3 of what Tabby can do. But we set his allowance at $3. It isn’t coincidence that their allowances align with their age. We plan to up them each birthday, by a dollar at first and then as needed later on. Ben’s $3 is only divided into spending and giving. Saving and other long-term things seem to be still quite a bit beyond him, so he gets $2 to spend every week and $1 to give to others. Being only 3, we decided he wouldn’t get any “fiscal chores” just yet. He can also earn a little extra money by helping us with his lunch. Just $0.50 since we still have to be very involved.

Lastly we wanted there to be some kind of “good citizenship” accountability. Ben in particular has been having a hard time with some behavior – he had two major tantrums while we were in Vail and we’d like to discourage that as well as Tabby’s dramatic/whiny streak. In the end, we decided to grade them daily on the concepts of “good choices,” “good attitude,” and “good manners” and then reward them with things like an extra book at bedtime, a trip for frozen yogurt or a family outing. They also have to work together to agree on a reward, so that furthers the cooperation idea. A trip to time out automatically loses their “good choices” point for the day.

Sound complicated? A bit. So we needed a good way to administrate it. Luckily, there’s an app for that. See  my post tomorrow … and an update on how it’s going.

My Instagram Project

365PhotosI have a little project I’ve started for 2013. It all started when I saw a cool calendar journal on Pinterest. The originator had taken a calendar and used every little square to journal or doodle something from that day and I loved the effect! Pretty and chronological and all. But honestly, I suck at keeping journals. It’s time-consuming and my life is very hustle and bustle. But what do I do well and frequently??? Take photos. I’ve loved the cool weekly/daily scrapbooking or photo or diary projects I’ve seen on other sites.

So I hit upon the idea to make a calendar with photos from every day. It’s simple because it only takes a second to take a photo and I can toss them into the calendar whenever. Easy peasy. So far I’ve been keeping up with it really well and have remembered to add the photos every day or two. I’ve also had no problems remembering to take photos … it’s not even a question. It’s just what I do. I like this kind of project.

Jan2013Calendar

Anyhow, I thought about waiting until the end of January to share my progress, but then it occurred to me that someone out there in cyberspace might want to do this too, so I thought I’d show you what I have so far and share the template with you. I have set this up so that the grey spots are supposed to be used as clipping masks and they look good as well if you just leave them blank. To use a clipping mask, you paste the photo you want to use as a new layer over the spot in question, then you right click on that new (photo) layer and hit “create clipping mask.” That way your photo shows only through that grey spot – pretty cool, no? You can find a more comprehensive tutorial on clipping masks here.

The numbers, text, etc. can all be changed as you like. The fonts I used are 1942 Report for the days of the week, Pea Aimee from Fonts for Peas for the month and Myraid Pro (an MS Font) for the dates.

Here is is for download … [wpdm_file id=2] … you can download and use personally for free, but if you want to change it and/or redistribute it on your own site that you credit back to me. I’d love to see anything that comes of this.

Vail Break

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My apologies for the extended break, but our wifi while away was absolutely terrible and I had a heck of a time getting a connection to WordPress for some reason. It was actually a kind of breaky trip in general. TV broke, my car’s battery died (light left on, below 0 temps), elevator went out. But at least all the people are in one piece!

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Anyway, as we have done for a long time now, we spent the first week of the new year in Vail. We ski. We cook. We watch movies. We hang out. We read. We lick our Christmas-season-induced wounds. We have a great time. We are very very lucky to be able to do this and we cherish our moments together. We were joined by my parents, sister and our friends from Nashville. Our friends’ son is 2 and quite a talker and singer and all around charmer. It was great to see them, and everyone for such an extended period and really get to spend some quality time together.

Continue reading “Vail Break”

Goals for 2013

newyears2013Well I didn’t do so well with my 2012 goals. But I still want to set some for 2013. 2012 was a big transition year for a lot of things and getting through it in one piece ended up being all the challenge we needed … so I’m hoping for 2013 we can do more than survive.

Family Focus our family time less on the have-tos and more of the want-tos. They are only so little for long and I want them to remember fun rather than constant trips to Costco and Target. But as an offset to that, we want to implement some allowances and chores for both kids.

Running/Fitness I have been doing well with getting to the gym and some running. Next year I want to keep going to the gym, run more (600 miles to be specific) and do a sprint triathlon, in fact I have my sights set on one for my 33rd bday (3 sports, 33 yrs old, cool, no?).

Cooking I want to keep up with the great job we’ve been doing cooking at home, but I want to keep a better eye on my caloric intake since it’s been pretty slip shot lately. I also need to sort out some new lunch items for Tabby and some new breakfast items for both kids.

Reading I’ve done great with reading the past few years and I want to keep that up, including increasing the number of non fiction books I read.

Finances Continue to track our finances.

Marriage Date nights and time together without electronics.

Other I’m trying to do an Instagram everyday.

Of course the hard part is getting them done….

 

Bye Bye 2012

 

1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?

We went to MakerFaire. That was awesome. We built a treehouse bed. I also fired a client. Very freeing.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Didn’t do too well with keeping them, but I will make more.

  • running: sub 2 hr half marathon, 800 miles for the year – hahahaha no. I ran one half marathon, it was not under 2 hrs by any stretch of the imagination. I took over a month off from running and never really got back into the habit of logging my miles. I’m on a better track with running, but I am sure I’m nowhere near 800 miles.
  • organization: whip my forever-messy “office” into usable shape – I worked on it and it’s better, but still a work in progress.
  • stick to our enlarged grocery budget and be in the black on our overall budget – I had a hard time even staying on top of our finances this year but in overall budget we did OK. Grocery not so much.
  • complete my cookbook challenge – I did a few months OK but ended up giving it up. Too impractical.
  • have a REAL date with Matt once a month – We did pretty well with this. Not sure it was once a month but we tried out new restaurants and had new adventures.
  • have more fun family outings on the weekends – We did OK with this. We did a lot of camping and other travel, but on the weekends when we weren’t traveling, it was a lot of  the boring shopping and organizing – but of course that made it possible for us to travel!

 

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

One of my good friends from childhood had a baby girl in early December.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

We lost a good family friend to cancer way too young.

5. What countries did you visit?

Stuck close to the USA again this year. Next year we have plans to visit Canada and after that … who knows?

6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you didn’t have in 2012?

More patience with my family. A less hectic schedule.

7. What dates from 2012 will be etched upon your memory, and why?

August 13th and August 14th, the days the kids started school.

8. What was your biggest achievement of this year?

Keeping it all going. Work has been busier for both Matt and myself and the kids new schedule has been a big adjustment. I’m not going to say it was perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but it was overall pretty free of drama and scramble.

9. What was your biggest failure?

The healthy eating thing. It’s been bad.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

We were pretty fortunate overall. We just had the routine colds and flu and such. Tabby did have a weird night in the ER with not-appendicitis, but that was it.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

We love our Roku box. That thing has been invaluable.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Lots of people! My kids make me damn proud, my family and friends give me great support and without Matt’s buy-in, our hectic family life would be chaos.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

I’m sure someone’s did, but it’s probably not worth dwelling upon.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Mortgage. Childcare. Food.

15. What did you get really excited about?

Our trip to MakerFaire. And it was great.

16. What song will always remind you of 2012?

Lonely Boy, and the dance one of my friends at the gym does whenever it comes on.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?

A) Happier or about the same. B) A bit fatter, apparently … ski pants aren’t fitting so great. Think I need to probably do something about that.  C) A bit richer and we’re very grateful.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

I wish I’d done a bit more running. I wish I’d done a bit more sleeping.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Yelling at the kids … I’ve really improved this in the past couple of months, learning to manage my reactions instead of “letting” them get me riled up, but it is always a challenge.

20. How will/did you spend Christmas?

We spent Christmas with our lovely families and friends … some before, some during, some after. We’re very lucky to have such great people in our lives.

21. What was your favorite TV program?

Big Bang Theory.

22. What was the best book you read?

I did a whole post on reading, so see that. But if I reflect on this year in reading compared to others, I don’t particularly feel like I read any books that I would consider to be “one of the best books I’ve ever read.” They were good, very enjoyable or edifying, but just not long-term keepers.

23. What did you want and get?

My wants were pretty simple this year.

24. What did you want and not get?

These days my needs are pretty simple and I don’t think there was anything I wanted and didn’t get. I’m truly lucky. As far as intangibles go, I always want more time!

25. What was your favorite film of 2012?

I didn’t see too many new films, but I really enjoyed Wreck-it-Ralph.

26. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 32 this year and it just so happened we were having a Girls’ Weekend in Steamboat so I had a relaxing day, a lovely dinner with some of my best girlfriends and a few too many free drinks.

27. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

More time.

28. How would you describe your personal fashion concept of 2012?

Hahahahahhahaha. No, but seriously, I’m not much of a fashion girl.

29. What kept you sane?

The great people in my life. Running/workouts.

30. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012.

Confidence <> competence.