Hello, Loki here, faithful pup to Matt and Jess (faithful humans to me). I had a rough last couple of days. See on Saturday, I was minding my own business and rifling through the trash when I was sent outside for no reason at all. Lucky me, though, I found the holy grail of unguarded food … raw chicken. With yummy spicy seasoning. Being as that I have been subsisting on primarily dry cereal since I can remember, I took my opportunity and stole a chicken leg. I was very careful not to ruin my humans meal, but they were upset anyhow and chased me around the yard until I was forced to swallow it down. They got all upset and put me in my box and then for some inexplicable reason, though they seemed to be annoyed with me, they fed me a loaf of bread. My lucky day! Chicken and bread!
Everything was going hunkey-dorey for a while then. I went to the lake and got to run around it a lot and chase a prairie dog and go swimming. But then the next night. Oooer my tummy. So in the morning, Matt (he's the male human) took me to this large place with lots of other dogs. I thought it was doggy daycare at first, and though I didn't feel much like playing, that was OK with me. But then another dog told me it was the vegetarian and it was not always a nice place. I don't know what he was talking about though, because everyone was really nice to me. They put me on this big table and took a huge machine thing and ran it over me and I just sat there and got pet. I love getting pet.
Then after a while, they gave me nice things to eat and I got allll sleepy. When I woke up, I didn't have fur on my tummy, but I did have a big cut. And they told me that I shouldn't eat pieces of plastic. This paticular one was from a ball my humans gave me about a month ago. They should really tell me this stuff. I mean, how's a dog supposed to know??? Anyhow, I know now.
Well, I assumed that after this sleepy time was over that I'd get to go see my humans. That's how it worked when they took me to the vegetarian for the other surgery that shall remain nameless. But my luck was not. I was given only some water and put in a box that's smaller than my one at home with no comfy towel to lie on. It was dark and kinda loud since all the other doggies were barking and crying. Some of them had real problems. There was this schnauzer that ran into a barbed wire fence. Why humans make all of these things that can hurt us, I'll never know.
Anyhoo, I managed to sleep some and in the morning, I was just sure one of my humans would come for me. But I waited and waited and no humans. So then they came to feed me – the food was awful, but I'm not too paticular, so I was AOK – I noticed the new human didn't close my box very well. Silly human. I am LOKI. So I nosed my way out and went to look for my humans. This one human tried to chase me and I accidentally knocked something over trying to get away from her and they got all upset since there were little glass pieces everywhere, like when Jess, my female human accidentally knocked a bottle of marinade off the top of the fridge. This glass thing didn't have any yummies with it though. So I was dragged back to that tiny little box and this time, they shut my box properly.
So I idled away my time talking to other dogs. And finally, they came to get me. I said goodbye to all my friends and went out a big door and on the other side was my human!! He was so glad to see me. He said he didn't care if I cost him 1460 bucks (what deer have to do with this, I don't quite know) I was worth it. And he gave me lots of petting.
Finally, we went back to my lovely house. My other human was there and I was allowed to sit on the couch with her after they'd fed me some more icky food and another happy tired pill. And I got more pets. I think it's good to be Loki. And I'll try very hard from now on not to eat anything else, except food.
and adventures with Loki continues…