Le Manual Transmission

In the US you CANNOT rent a manual transmission car anymore. You just can't. Well in France, people under 25 can't rent an automatic. None of us knows how to drive an automatic … See where I'm going with this? Not only that, but none of the driving schools within an hour's drive (I didn't check any further out) have any manual cars that they'll teach you on.

So I envision our car rental experience going something like this:
Pierre: Thank you for renting with FrenchRent. Have a nice trip.
Us: Thanks Pierre. By the way, we don't know how to drive a manual. Could you spare a few moments to show us the ropes?
Pierre: But I am le tired.
Us: Uh Pierre, we bought le Damage Waiver. If you want your car back in one piece, you might do well to show us the ropes.
Pierre: Non.
Us: Oui.
Pierre: Non.
Us: Oui!
Pierre: Non.
Us: Fine. Your car is le screwed.