Baseball Schmaseball

Can someone tell me who watches baseball on TV anymore? I know plenty of people who enjoy taking in a game on a nice summer afternoon, but watching it on TV? Is there anything more boring? Well, probably yes, but who can really count grass growing or paint drying?

Having said that, the powers that be are usually considerate enough to hold baseball games during non-prime-time TV hours. So while they may pre-empt Judge Judy or As the World Turns, nothing of any real viewing importance is lost.

But for some reason which remains a mystery to me, right when some of the best fall TV is coming on, baseball suddenly gets moved to prime time. Now I understand that these are “playoffs” and the “world series” and therefore theoretically 100 times more important than regular baseball, but 100×0 still = 0.

So I've Got A Few Suggestions for Baseball:
1. Limit the World Series to ONE game. We don't need a series. One game is painful enough. And maybe sudden death would be good. First team to score a point wins. That would take a few hours anyhow.
2. Let them play in the rain. If they melt, so be it, but I'll tell you a bitta slippin and sliding and butter-fingering balls, would surely liven up the game.
3. Next time those wussy career-whiners go on strike, disband the league and let 'em work go work at McDonald's.