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Keeping it All Together (more or less)

I was going through some old information this morning on the GTD system (Getting Things Done if you are not familiar with this). This is an interesting system and I like and use parts of it and dislike and eschew other parts of it but like all things organizing it does interest me. It struck me in reading this material how much things have changed in just the past 5 years (the material was from a conference I went to when I was pregnant with Tabby). The systems and tools I used “way back” then are so different from what I use now. Anyhow, like I said, this sort of stuff always intrigues me and I thought I’d share some of my organizational tools, rules and resources and see what you all use.

  • GOOGLE CALENDAR Pictured above, Google Calendar is my favorite org tool. I use it all the time. I have a calendar for the kids, one for the whole family, Matt keeps his own, the menu is on there as well as my training calendar, my freelance hours for billing and a separate schedule for my work commitments (that don’t directly affect the family). The fact that it syncs with my Android phone is perhaps its greatest advantage and I use it daily … hourly some days!
  • ANDROID 5 years ago, I was rocking a state of the art HTC with Windows Mobile. It got my email but since it wasn’t corporately sanctioned it didn’t connect to our Exchange server and I entered all my appointments, contacts, etc. manually which was a huge pain in the butt. Switching to an Android has been incredible! Having all my data in Google Calendar and Contacts is such a time saver and the synchronization is flawless.
  • OUR GROCERIES APP This is another of my favorite tools. It holds all of our lists. Everything from grocery lists (one for Target, one for our organic market, one for Costco) to family to-do lists to packing lists and it syncs together Matt’s phone and mine so if he adds something to the list in the morning and I go by the store on my way home, I know what to get.
  • PHOTOS As far as photos go, I’m pretty strict with myself. I won’t let a week elapse before downloading photos off the camera. I delete the duds (immediately), edit what I want (keeping the originals) and upload the best to Flickr. At some point in time, some munificent being (Matt) backs them up to our file server. If I ever get behind, it is so hard to get on top of it again that I dread it. Keeping on top of things is vitally important to my organization.
  • BACKUP Speaking of backup, I LOVE Carbonite. For $55/yr you get your computer backed up to the cloud in your network down time. No fuss no muss nothing to remember. It is as easy as backup gets.
  • SCAN SNAP I hate paper, so we have all of our personal files on our fileserver scanned via a system called Scan Snap. It’s just a nice little desktop scanner that digitizes what you still get in paper and sends it straight to PDF.
  • PAPER When I do have to use paper, I’m pretty particular about it. At the office, I file everything in 3-ring notebooks as opposed to file folders. Those things drive me NUTS. Notebooks = tidy. Tidy=happy. And I also scan anything I don’t need to keep a hard copy of (meeting notes, invoices, etc.)
  • TO DO LIST The other paper thing I won’t get rid of (at least not yet) is my work to-do list. I have a narrow notebook where I keep the to-dos going on a daily basis, copying over what remains for tomorrow (or Monday). I would probably keep this on my computer, but the computer I have at work is so slow that it is just more efficient to keep paper. Plus, I do like to doodle in the margins.
  • PINTEREST More and more, Pinterest is one of my go-to sources for organizing. I keep lots of recipes there, clipped from all over the web as well as project boards and crafts I want to attempt. Sometimes this probably creates more distractions for me, but they’re distractions I love.

For the many things I’m good at with organization like menu planning and making it to appointments and getting things done at home and work, I’m terrible with many others. I find myself constantly fighting clutter within our home. Too many toys, clothes, DVDs (though we’ve started rectifying this with Amazon Instant Video and Netflix), pieces of kiddo artwork, books (Kindle is helping here again), craft supplies, holiday decorations, kitchen what-nots. I always have a Goodwill basket going and we make regular trips, but it’s hard at the best of times. I currently need to make clean sweeps on just about every room in the house. We talk frequently about buying/building a bigger home. And while certain aspects of that greatly appeal to me, I don’t want to have space for more STUFF. Bigger closets are not likely to be on the agenda.

I am very curious to know what your favorite organizational tricks are!

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Big Boy

A few weeks before Ben’s 3rd Birthday, we got down to the potty training thing in earnest. With Tabby, we essentially laid down the law and she said okay and we have rarely had an accident since (3+ years). Ben was an entirely different proposition. He fought the whole process like you would not believe, particularly going #2. On the first real day of training, we had a 30 minute stand-off in which all I wanted him to do was TRY and he wouldn’t. He finally got sent to bed … it pretty much went against every instinct I had, but I was sick and tired of waiting for him to decide it was time to do this and decided I had to force the issue.

Happily, I think it was the right decision. Shortly after that, he finally went and it’s just gotten easier from there. I also found out the most effective method for training Ben: bribes (and I make no apologies on this account). He hasn’t been the same as Tabby, but who should expect that? We’ve had accidents and we’ve also had to remind him more that it’s time to go and force the issue when he doesn’t think it’s yet time. It’s been much slower and we’ve had fits and starts. Finally he is asking on his own to go pee. I wouldn’t say we’re 100% yet with #2 though and while it’s a bit frustrating, the fact that we can take him out of the house without a pull-up on is very very worthwhile. He is still wearing a pull-up at night though I think it’s more for our peace-of-mind (read: sleep!) than because it’s necessary and I do not plan to buy more pull-ups when these are gone. We won’t travel without extra pants for a while yet, but it’s so much an improvement that I’m delighted.

Though it’s been a bit more drawn out and frustrating, he’s doing really well and he’s as proud of himself as we are of him. He was very upset yesterday when he accidentally peed on his shorts and underwear (not an accident – overshot while on the toilet). He’s very excited that he will get to go to daycamp with Sissy and we can now register him for preschool in the fall with no reservations. He’s a real big boy now and it still feels kind of strange to pick him up and realize he doesn’t have a padded bottom anymore. Strange good though.

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Food Fear Factor

The hilarious Becky at Suburban Matron posted a though-provoking response to a Jezebel article about parents in Park Slope (Brooklyn) wanting to ban the ice cream truck from their local park so they don’t have to have battles with their kids over ice cream. Her take is two fold: a) a little ice cream doesn’t hurt and b) saying yes generally makes the nos more palatable. I enjoyed the original very much and Becky’s take on it, but the first bit is what I want to talk about. A little ice cream doesn’t hurt.

See, I was watching Biggest Loser the other night. This is my favorite treadmill show because these people who weigh at least 20 lbs more than I do (at the end of the season) become totally strong and could probably kick my ass so it’s totally motivating. Like if that guy can do it, I can run another few tenths of a mile/hr faster, right?? Right. Anyhow, they had a cooking challenge judged by last season’s contestants. They all look great and have obviously kept up their weight loss, but when one of the contestants used a TABLESPOON of mayonnaise (not the low fat stuff, the FULL FAT stuff), they just about lost it. “I would have preferred you to use the light mayo” one of them said. People, we’re talking about 90 calories worth of mayo, spread over a whole recipe. Seriously???

I am all for vegetables and portion control and water drinking and running and KALE! I love me some kale! But when did we get so insane that we can’t occasionally allow our kids an ice cream at the park or a tablespoon of mayo in their chicken salad? I make vegetables to go with dinner almost every night, upwards of two cups for each person of steamed broccoli, green beans, peas, carrots, cauliflower (generally the kids don’t eat all of it and I take the leftovers for lunch) and I season them with everything under the sun … but I always start with a little butter. A tablespoon or around 90 calories worth of the stuff. It tastes great and adds around 23 calories to each person’s serving of veggies and a little fat (which we need, people!).

I don’t want to raise kids who are fearful of food. I want to raise kids who understand that mostly, we drink water, but the occasional cup of juice is OK too. I want to raise kids who eat because they’re hungry or occasionally because it looks tasty, not just because it’s there. I also want to raise kids who understand the difference between good homemade food and junky processed crap – though I don’t think the Oreo should be expressly forbidden either. I want them to recognize an ice cream for what it is – a treat – and to not expect it every day or every trip to the park. I want them to be able to live without worrying about every single solitary thing they put in their mouths, but enough sense to know that mostly, the fuel should be good wholesome stuff.

I am of course still working on this myself. But I will continue to drop a dollop of butter on the broccoli and I doubt anything anyone says could stop me.

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Accentuate the Positive

I don’t know if it’s hyper-sensitivity, but it seems like everywhere I look these days, I’m seeing comments about how people, specifically mommy bloggers are skewing their lives purposefully to make it look as though everything is perfect – that their kids never have tantrums and eat only organic locally sourced food and their houses are always spotless and their Christmas gifts nothing but homemade. I know these comments aren’t directed at me – I fly so far under the blogging radar with popularity they can’t be (and don’t get me wrong – I LIKE THIS) but these comments rub me the wrong way. Because, duh, if you look around my archives you will rarely find me saying a negative word about much of anything. My complaints are mainly about being busy/tired are about as deep as it gets. But there are some very good reasons why:

  1. I TRULY believe in the power of positive thinking, being, existing. I find that when I focus on the negative by writing about it, talking about it, dwelling on it, I get immersed in the negative and then it’s a positive feedback loop where I stay there. That doesn’t mean I gloss over or hide the bad stuff, but I deal with it and move on. This is the same reason why I don’t watch the news. It depresses me and I can’t really do much about it, so I focus on what I can control and do good in my own life.
  2. Complaining about the bad stuff just seems … petty. I have a damn good life. I am incredibly lucky and I know it. I have an wonderful circle of family and friends, a roof over my head, food to eat and even a job I like! Complaining about the small “first world problems” I have just seems petty. I’d rather celebrate the good stuff and be grateful for it instead of whining about the bad.
  3. This blog is not anonymous. I know probably 60% of my readers in real life, from family to friends to coworkers to clients to online friends who have become real-life friends. It’s great, but that being said, it doesn’t give you a ton of freedom to vent. And I’m not talking about inter-personal problems, necessarily. My kids and husband deserve some privacy and when everyone knows you and your family personally I’m not about to share private details of our lives that they’d rather I keep to myself. It’s not fair.

But just to make you feel better, some (negative) truths:

  1. I have been fighting to lose the same 10 lbs for what seems like years now. Really it’s months. Up 5 lbs, down 7 lbs, up 4 lbs, down 2 lbs. Over and over. It’s maddening and I am the only person to blame for it as I really like food way too much.
  2. My house is never clean. Ever. It is not filthy – we have someone come clean it every other week and I clean our kitchen every night, but I wage a constant battle on most other fronts. There is always too much clutter. The laundry is never done and I don’t just mean in the way that we’re wearing clothes that are currently getting dirty. I mean I usually have a load in the dryer that needs folded and a couple hanging around that are folded but haven’t been put away and frankly may never be put away. I don’t iron ANYTHING. My windows have been washed only once in the almost 8 years we’ve lived in the house and it was only the first floor ones when we painted and I didn’t even do it, my dad did.
  3. I yell at my kids. I try not to, but sometimes I do. I get impatient with them when they take too long to do things sometimes. I know it isn’t fair and I try hard to curb my reactions, but I do not always succeed. I am also LOUSY at playing make believe with them. Games? Cooking? Crafting? Yes. Playing pretend? Absolute crap. Bores me to tears. I also hate singing the same song 50 thousand times in a row. I will also occasionally put them to bed early because I am tired myself and/or I have something to do that they cannot interrupt.
  4. Loki is neglected. He gets fed, he has a small yard to play in, but he rarely goes on walks and the only time he gets bathed is when he goes to the vet to be boarded when we’re out of town. I try to make up for it with  snuggles and hiking and camping trips, but honestly, he is farther down on my priority list than I want him to be.
  5. My personal grooming is limited to clean clothes, neat hair, tinted moisturizer and lip gloss. That is all. Sometimes I feel like I should change this, but once again with the priority list.
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My Favorite Spot

We’ve been doing a lot of work around the house the past month or so, but there is one spot, not too glamorous that I wanted to show you. It’s our height timeline wall. A couple of years ago, I don’t even remember why, I started marking the kids heights on that little section of wall in our kitchen. I just use a sharpie and a little, sometimes not too straight line, and mark their name and age. And slowly, the marks have piled up. We don’t mark regularly, maybe twice a year or so, but there they are, proof that my kids are growing.

Sometimes, when I would have sworn it was Ben who did all the growing, the wall surprises me and shows me that in fact, Tabby has made the biggest leap over the past six months. It also reveals that age for age, Ben is trending quite a bit taller than Tabby. It’s not a huge surprise and I always wonder when he’ll catch up to her. Months? Years? Not too soon, I hope.

Every time I see the wall it makes me smile, even if it’s a bit nostalgically. It’s one of those things that, were we ever to move, I would want to take with me, no matter how unrealistic that is. I absolutely love it.

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Hooked on Phonics

Reading fun is afoot at my house. Tabby, who will enter Kindergarten next year is in the midst of learning a bunch of pre-primer sight words. Every night this week we’ve been drilling her on them (truly a record for us as far as consistency goes). It’s making a difference too as she seems to be learning one or two new ones every day.

Though I know she’s supposed to learn these words just by sight (some of them can’t, in fact, be sounded out), we have been trying to help her through some of the phonics as well, knowing it will come in handy later on and give her clues even now.

So apparently, all the phonics and learning to read stuff is working its way into my brain. This AM at the gym, while doing Turkish Getups, we were listening to Ke$ha’s “Tick Tock,” I made some comment about the song and called her “keeeeesha (long E).” My sister, all-knowing corrected me. “It’s keh-sha (short E).”

“Ahh,” I said, “well actually that makes more sense. I guess I thought the $ made the E long.” It was probably a mark of how early it was, as opposed to my wit, that we al laughed like mad.

That would have been a bitch of a phonics rule to teach to Tabby, alright!

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Brainwashing My Kids

One of our base theories in parenting is that it’s easier to lay the foundation for a “good kid” early than fix a load of problems when they’re 15. There is at least some evidence that supports this and it makes sense to me on a gut level, so I’m going with it. As part of this, I am endeavoring to brainwash my children with some of the most valuable life lessons I’ve learned in my 31 years on this planet (many of them from my own parents who come to think of it may have been successfully brainwashing my sister and I since our formative years as well … hmmm).

When things come up with the kids, Tabby in particular as she is older and somewhat rational, we try to say the right thing so that we not only have a positive outcome but that we have a positive outcome for the right reason. If she’s having trouble with something she’s learning, we encourage her to keep going and remind her that you are best at things you work hard at, no matter how good you are at them naturally. When she gets overwhelmed picking up her room, we try not to just do it for her, but to help her strategerize on how to best attack the problem and find success herself. We advise her to save her money and refuse to let her buy junky plastic toys that won’t last.

So one of our favorite things to instill is the value of hard work and not giving up on something. One day Tabby was doing something, cleaning her room or practicing her letters or whatever and she gave up on it with hardly a second thought. It wasn’t the first time this had happened recently and I was a bit peeved. It was looking too much like a bad habit. So we talked about it and I told her that anything worth having was had to be worked for. I also explicitly told her, “Lazy is the worst thing you can be.”

After I said it, I had a moment of second guessing myself.Was it? Surely being a liar was worse. But really, what is lying if not a form of laziness? You’re lying to make things easier on yourself, right? So you don’t have to deal with what you’ve done or handle the repercussions from truth-telling. And sure, being a murderer or a child molester are worse but we don’t really delve into those subjects with our four-year-old.

Anyhow, we’ve noticed some positive changes in Tabby’s attitude toward working at something. So I think it’s working. Beyond that, I have pretty concrete evidence that she heard me loud and clear. Last week when we were at my mom’s house, Tabby wanted my mom, who was resting on the couch after hours of marathon cooking, to get up and turn on the bathroom light for her. My mom said, “Can you just leave the door open a crack. That should let in enough light. Grammy’s feeling lazy right now, Tabs.”

To which Tabby responded, quite solemnly, “Grammy. Being lazy is the worst thing you can be.”

On another, child-related note …Congratulations to my SIL Theresa and her hubby Bryan on the birth of their darling new baby girl, Autumn!! I’m so excited to be an auntie!

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A Day in the Life

Fridays are my “day off” … day off from office work that is. I had an extremely busy yet pretty typical day on Friday and I wanted to write it down for posterity’s sake something, perhaps, to show the kids when they are parents of young children.

6 AM – Wake up and hop right on the treadmill. Hopping “right on” actually involves about 15-20 minutes of eye-rubbing, yawning, stretching, dressing and setup (fans, TV). Make it a paltry 5 of the 12K I have on the schedule.

6:45 AM – Hop off the treadmill and drag Matt out of bed, dress the kids, hand them some toast and hit the road. While on the road, I make a doctor’s appt for Ben since he STILL has the darn cough. That pretty much eliminates all possibility of going to the gym with Matt as planned.

7:30 AM – Drop Matt’s car off at the dealership for floor-mat recall and oil change.

8:10 AM – Check in at the clinic for Ben’s appointment. Children persist in touching everything in site and I imagine germs crawling all over them.

8:20 AM – Appointment begins with weigh-in. He has finally gained a teeny bit of weight (1 lb). Kids drive us nuts in the exam room. They have chosen to store the IV poles in the corner (who thought THAT was a good idea?).

8:30 AM NP arrives. I’m pretty sure she thinks our kids are out of control. Tabby won’t stop talking and Ben won’t stop climbing. After all the cursory exams, we leave about 20 min later with a script for amoxycillin and a diagnosis of sinusitis.

8:50 AM I send Ben and Matt to the car to wait while Tabby and I wait on Ben’s script at the clinic pharmacy. We pass the time by playing word and math games. “What letter does Amoxycillin start with? Which is a better deal – 100 claratin for $15 or 50 Claratin for $10?”

9:00 AM We exit the clinic with Ben’s bottle o’ pink in hand.

9:10 AM Arrive at the nearby Target and QUICKLY execute my shopping list for our weekend away.

9:50 AM Arrive home and see that Loki has dispatched the remainder of our almost new loaf of bread. Curse under my breath and then hop on the treadmill again while the kids destroy the playroom. I execute another 5K, bringing my total for the day to 10/12K. Good enough!

Continue reading “A Day in the Life”

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That’s My BOY!

I’ve said many times over that one of the best things about having more than one kid is comparing and contrasting them. I don’t mean this in a “your sister would never do that!” sort of way. I mean in an it’s fascinating to see how they’re different sort of way. Obviously they both share the same two people’s DNA and they’re raised by the same two people, but nonetheless, they’re amazingly dissimilar. In some ways it makes me want to have another just to see another interesting and amazing permutation.

I honestly used to think that all differences between boys and girls were the result of socialization. I still believe that certain things are but there is absolutely no denying the BOYNESS of my boy. At 9 months old, he was saying “vrooooom!” as he raced a car, a block, nearly anything across the floor. He has had incredible aim when throwing since about 10 months old. He walked at 10 months and ran shortly after. He conquered the water slide a full two years before his cautious sister. He climbs EVERYTHING and turns our living room into an obstacle course. He loves to be dirty. He learned to slide out the back end of his plasma car while going top speed in my dad’s garage. I expect him any day to run out back and fire up the grill.

After all, he has a penchant for cooking as well. Check this out:

Continue reading “That’s My BOY!”

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On My Mind

We are trying to plan travel for this year. It is never an easy prospect. We have to arrange loads of things like people’s work schedules, plane tickets, accommodations, and the like. And it’s getting better, but still the thought of traveling with our two kiddos and all it entails sort of makes me break out into hives. But we will do it and it will be fine. It’s a bit like getting a shot … it’s much worse in my imagination than in reality. Anyhow, we are planning to visit our Nashville family sometime in late June (when my SIL and BIL can get time off). We want to go to the Gatlinburg/Seiverville area and rent a cabin for a while. It’s gorgeous there. Then in September we want to go to NYC to do the fun NYC stuff and also to check out Maker Faire, a big ol’ nerd fest where inventors (makers) bring their projects and show them off. These clips from Martha Stewart will totally make you want to check it out.

Continue reading “On My Mind”