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Off the Hamster Wheel?


First, as this post is (somewhat) about breastfeeding, it occurred to me that you might look at this photo and think that this is baby at boob … while there's nothing wrong with that, per se, that is not what this is … this is Ben on my mom's shoulder.

Today I felt like we turned a corner. I had a second appointment with the lactation consultant which was great. I feel like we are finally getting things on track and doing better. It is so much a relief to be able to just FEED him instead of this try to nurse, give up in frustration and pain and end up pumping and then bottle feeding. I was about to give it up as a bad job and go with the bottle because I could not figure out how I could manage all of that plus Tabby on my own. Matt goes back to work tomorrow, so this was not a moment too soon!

What else has been going on around here? Matt is trying to get the garden ready. I have been watching copious amounts of TV (am liking Healthy Decadences and check out this awesome Yo Gabba Gabba clip with the Happy Birthday song from Sixteen Candles) but also managed to clean up the kitchen properly (not just shove crap in the dishwasher) and coach Tabby into picking up toys. We had lunch with my mom and a coworker of ours and later my mom came over to hang out and we even went for a walk (hellooooo sun!). Of couse everything could be completely impossible tomorrow, but here's hoping!

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Baby Ben

Things are going well around here … but a bit crazy as you might guess from my lack of meaningful communication. The days are absolutely flying, propelled by the rigorous feeding schedule of a newborn. I am trying to sit back and enjoy the ride as much as possible. Matt goes back to work on Wednesday and I am dreading this in some ways, but also looking forward to seeing what my next 3.5 months are going to look like and getting into a routine. Many people do it and I'm sure we'll manage.

The biggest pitfall we've encountered so far is nursing. After a promising start, we're having latch problems … and I'm having a lot of pain as a result. Today we went back to the hospital to see the lactation consultant. She was very helpful and we got things going right while I was there, but I haven't been able to duplicate it since and have spent a lot of time frustrated with a cranky baby. He is getting a lot of pumped milk at the moment so I can get some healing time. I am going to try to go back in tomorrow for more help. The good news is that he's back up to his birth weight and all signs point towards thriving with a capital T. I'm anxious to get the breastfeeding thing settled … the nurse/pump routine is exhausting.

As for the rest of the family, we are all doing pretty well. Tabby is loving her little brother and being a huge help to Matt and I, though she remains a bit fragile and clingy. Matt is pulling triple duty as baby pacifier, toddler rangler and wife's valet with a cheerful smile (we're quite lucky to have him). As for me, I'm painkiller free and moving around pretty much normally, even if not much else is quite to “normal” yet.

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From the Homefront

We left the hospital yesterday and have been home for over 24 lovely hours. It is all coming back to us and we are getting into our stride. Of course it is different from the first go around. The first go around we didn't have a very active two-year-old running around. But we also lacked confidence. This time we could politely refuse the ridiculous suggestions of the various medical professionals and go with our own counsel. Ben is so far a pretty easy-going baby. He has taken to nursing like a champ (something Tabby and I never seemed to get the hang of) and managed to gain back 3 ounces or lost weight in about 36 hours. He is nursing constantly right now and I am moocow on demand until supply reaches incredible demand.

Tabby is doing well with him as well. She had a great time staying with my parents but is also enjoying being back home. Ben fascinates her and so far her reactions to him have been all positive. She is a bit more fragile than normal, we've noticed. The smallest things seem to upset her unreasonably, especially anything that can be perceived as negative attention towards her (us saying no to any request or her getting into trouble, however minor). It has been a bit crazy around here, but I'm hoping to get to devote some one-on-one attention to her soon.

As for the rest of the family, all is well. Matt is getting as much sleep as can be expected (that would be not much) and doing a pretty darn good job keeping up with Tabby and the house. I am healing pretty well, though I would appreciate it if this excess fluid that's built up would get out of here about now. Loki is home again as well and has acknowledged our newest arrival. So I guess that's about it! Thanks for all the well wishes.

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Almost Ready

Yesterday was a good day. Most days are really pretty good if you look at them objectively, I notice. But sunshine and unicorns aside, yesterday was particularly good. I am not sure why. I did get to go to The Corner Office for lunch. It was admin professionals' day and a big group of us went there. Such good people. They're a lot of the reason I like work. Got a lot accomplished at work too … picayune things to finish up before I go on leave. I was late to pick up Tabby because I went home before going to the sitter's house to put the final coat of varnish on the drawers and somewhere in the mayhem, Matt spilled a quart of varnish on our carpet. Oops. Luckily we have a carpet cleaner in-house (dog+kids+oatmeal carpet) and I think we saved the carpet … if not, that's why we have home owner's insurance and our carpet NEEDS replacing (dog+kids+oatmeal carpet). But when I picked Tabby up, she was in a super good mood and thrilled to see me. The feeling was mutual.

We took Mr. Loki to our friends' house where he will stay for the next few days. I got to missing him right away, even if he has a jingly collar that wakes Tabby up while she's napping and doesn't understand personal space very well. We had Wendy's for dinner because there is NO cooking going on at our house right now. We snuggled in bed and watched Little Einstein – we skipped the end, but I'm pretty confident about how it was going to turn out. We installed the new drawers and organized all of the clothes. It is always sad to see my favorite outfits in the “too small” pile. Though based on Tabby's growth patterns, we also made a pile of “maybe next winter too!” clothes. Tabby went to bed without a peep, finally wanting her daddy to read to her (she's been all about mommy lately). Matt and I were able to quickly pick up the main floor and then spend a couple of hours watching some back episodes of Bones on the Tivo … together … cuddled up in bed. That has not happened in weeks, maybe months.

So not absolutely everything on my maniacal to-do list will be accomplished by the time our sweet boy arrives, but who cares? I'm sure he won't. And today I am having donuts for breakfast and a pedicure for lunch. Yay. Then after a nap, we've got dinner plans with my family and I need to make a quick stop at Target for a few essentials and it's home for a good night's sleep before the excitement of tomorrow. This will probably be my last post before Baby Boy arrives and hopefully I'll be able to update you sometime tomorrow afternoon and maybe even share a couple of photos.

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Cutie and the Crank

Tabby was really cute today. After I picked her up we got some more one-on-one time since Daddy was working and then in his shop. I don't remember what I said (some random declarative statement) and she responded by patting me on the arm and then said “I know, I know.” This was followed by her observation that something was “kinda weird.” Where the heck does she come up with these things? I brought her out on the font porch and got her to pose for some photos. She was not really much into this idea at first and then totally hammed it up. She seems like such a big girl to me these days and I'm sure it will be even more apparent when her little brother makes his appearance. *sigh*

I on the otherhand was a piece of work. I can't remember if I got to this part with Tabby or if I was just extra bad due to lack of sleep or something, but I was huffing and puffing everywhere I went and could hardly keep up with the normal stuff – just picking up around the house and that sort of thing. But I still managed to fold a ton of laundry (Tabby's from last week and Baby Boy's entire wardrobe) as well as cleaning up the kitchen after dinner. Pure stubbornness – don't underestimate it! I was ready for bed at 8, and Tabby at 7:30 but Matt needed to be in Tabby's room to fit the drawers and such, so Tabby and I read half the books in her shelf while we waited for him. The “comfortable” position I found on the floor left me practically unable to walk (and in tears) after sitting in it for nearly 40 minutes. Needless to say, I am not doing my bit towards finishing the drawers this evening. It is a bit of computer time and then off to bed for me.

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Waiting for Inspiration

Me and the blogging aren't doing so well lately. I keep thinking I'll get on it and tell y'all what's going on but the problem is …. none of it is very interesting.

• Still pregnant. 5 more days.
• House is a mess, but projects are slowly getting done … pack 'n' play has been set up, other baby paraphanelia has made its way up from dusty basement … still needs to be vacuumed.
• Drawers for bed almost finished but one is not fitting (this can/will be fixed) and still need to be poly'd and sanded.
• Took Tabby to the aquarium on Saturday … she was absolutely enthralled.
• Weather here has been insane … blizzard like on Friday, rained all day Saturday, got to almost 60 today.
• Went to the OB on Friday … no news is good news. Measuring right on schedule.
• Toured a GOOD preschool on Friday.
• Laundry and housework seem neverending at the moment.
• Only 3.5 days of work left.
• Had a ton of one-on-one time with Tabby this weekend since Mat has been in the shop … she has been an absolute joy.
• Can't wait to meet this kid!!

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Baby Q&A

How long are you working?
I am working right up until my C-date. I will work the morning of the 23rd and then leave around 11 and go get my pedicure (the shop is near my office, so this makes excellent sense) and then spend some QT with Tabby. Since I have a low-stress job that mostly involves sitting at a desk, being at the office is probably more restful than being at home, especially given my predilection towards compulsively organizing and cleaning at the moment. Plus … hello … $$!! Diapers are expensive. As many paychecks as possible, please.

Does this kid have a name?
Yes he does! And even if he were to turn out to be a she (fat chance – even I can read boy parts on our ultrasounds) a name has been picked out. Miss Tabby knows what his name is and has spilled it to quite a few people, but I guess it's not generally known yet. It will be on his birth announcement … speaking of which, email me your address if you would like me to send you one (and I don't already have your address).

How long are you taking off?
Four glorious summery months! Being as I am in construction and the economy being as it is, it is kind of a blessing to not have to pay me for 4 months of this year. But I will probably work one day a week or so since there is no duplication of my role. Plus it will give Tabby a chance to see her sitter (who she loves) so she doesn't get out of that habit.

Are you ready?
Doubtful. I'm not sure you're ever really *ready* for a baby. We've done a good chunk of the physical preparations and all, but there are more to be done and I'm sure I could easily occupy every moment between now and the time I leave for the hospital doing this or that. But we definitely need to assemble the pack 'n' play and make sure the breast pump still works and all of that.

So … how are you feeling?
Depends on when you ask me! Have I had enough sleep? Is someone or something annoying me? How are my clothes (you know the three items from my wardrobe that still can be worn) fitting me? Overall, I am not doing too badly, I suppose. But I am definitely counting the days. And I would probably start crying uncontrollably if they told me I had to wait any longer. Having that date really helps.

What will you miss about being pregnant?
Ha! Not much. I haven't been miserable or anything, but I do miss certain things that I haven't been able to enjoy whilst being pregnant. Margaritas. Sleeping. Running. Getting dressed. Bending over. I guess I will miss the baby kicks. Those are pretty sweet.