Author: jesser

Did I get your attention? Ha. I just came across a wonderful article at babble called The Breastfeeding Conspiracy. To sum it up for you (it's pretty long), it discusses the guilt and perceived benefits/reprocussions of bottle/formula-feeding instead of breastfeeding. The basic conclusion comes down to: 1) we pretty much all agree that breastfeeding is the ideal, nature-created way to feed your baby, but 2) the consequences and reprocussions of formula feeding aren't nearly so bad as they've been made out to be and 3) the perceived benefits of breastfeeding aren't as monumental as they've been made out to be and 4) whatever you choose, people should not be nasty to you for your choice.

Tabby and I never got the hang of breastfeeding. She didn't latch right. My milk didn't come in very fast or in much quantity. We worked damn hard at it for a month or so using a variety of contraptions and techniques. All we could ever really do was nurse with something called a nipple shield … that I was supposed to wean her off of after a few weeks. The weaning never happened. Everytime we tried it was a disaster. And I really gave up when I went back to work about 2.5 months after she was born. Once I was back at work, we nursed in the evenings and I pumped during the days. Breastfeeding made me ravenously hungry all the time and I gained weight while I breastfed (I am pretty certain it was breastfeeding that caused this this, because once I stopped, I lost weight and didn't feel like I had to consume everything in my path). I never produced enough milk either. She was supplemented from the beginning when she lost 20% of her body weight and that never stopped.

Around 5 months, Tabby would start screaming hysterically every time we tried to nurse. After a couple of days, I just stopped nursing her. I was determined the precious hours I saw her in the evening would not be ruined with this struggle. I was able to pump for a month or so longer and that was that. I feel that overall I made the right decision. Especially by that point, I was pretty OK with it, but in the early days I felt pretty guilty for not being able to do what I thought should come so naturally. And I had help! Lots of help! Lactation consultants in the hospital (really pushy ones as I recall). A visiting nurse. My darling husband who helped me set up for marathon pumping sessions (before and after I nursed Tabby) and fed her using this bizarre IV/tube contraption taped to his finger so she wouldn't get “nipple confusion.” But by the time it as all done, I was mostly OK with it. Still, guilt reared its ugly head for a long while with people making little comments to me here and there. A nurse at my doctor's office telling me that she might be healthier (she had a cold!) if I'd nursed 9 months instead of 6.

Months removed from the whole situation, I have a much better perspective on the situation. I will try to breastfeed when I have another baby, but I will not make myself crazy over it. Those days of infancy are just too precious to spend in constant conflict and struggle. And anyone who judges me can have a piece of my (grumpy and sleep-deprived) mind.

I feel like such a broken record lately. All I can do is tell you about how insanely busy. I'm so busy I don't even have time to be interesting. So … wanna hear about my garden? It's growing! It's growing like mad! The tomatoes are almost taller than their bamboo stakes. They are blooming like crazy too. And we actually have one that looks ripe! It's tiny and something gnawed on a it a bit, but it's progress, right? The squash has really rallied from its low-point following the hail and I have no idea what to do with the the ton and a half of basil and dill.

Meanwhile, our fridge is STILL oveflowing with greens from our CSA shares. We're getting better at figuring out what to do with them, though. Stir fry is big in our house right now as are salads. And I hear radish sandwiches and sautees are good, though we chunked them in the stirfry last week. The dinner I cooked last night was awesome and used a whole bunch of some unidentifiable green. And it was way tasty.

The kid is growing like a weed too. Not physically so much at the moment (except her teeth), but she is growing developmentally by leaps and bounds. Tons of new words are popping up and she's been wielding her spoon like a pro. She's huge into books right now as well and we've put her to bed with a book a couple of nights to appease her, which has been a big hit.

But apparently, sharing is not in her vocabulary. She spent time with another little girl at her sitter's today and the “mine” word reared its ugly head OVER and OVER (accompanied by screaming). Ahh well … it's a form of growth, I suppose … hehe. Something to work on.

Tabby is still cranky, tired and feverish. She doesn't want to eat much of anything. She doesn't want to be left alone. She doesn't want held. Tylenol + early bed is best right now. Poor kiddo. Hope she feels better tomorrow.

Started bootcamp. Am sore. Very sore. Work is crazy. I was in meetings 90% of today. More of the same tomorrow. Big family things to be dealt with that are all-consuming. Mommy needed a nap today too.

Made fabulous dinner. Now I have to pack up and get ready for another early day tomorrow. Sooo looking forward to a long weekend. Will write a proper post later … maybe even with a photo.

Is it weird that I'm excited for tomorrow? I'm hardly ever excited for Monday. It's been something of a long weekend. Tabby and I had fun at the pool on Friday except that it was 95 degrees out and Tabby had little to no interest in the pool. It had this giant bucket that filled up and then dumped and Tabby was terrified of it and spent most of the time in the sandbox. Where it was hot. And not refreshing. By the time Tabby was ready for bed, so was I.

Saturday was actually a really great day. Matt and I had gym date in the morning. We hung out and did treadmill and weights and then I hit step class. After the gym, we showered and such and met our friends at an Indian restaurant downtown and the babies (all three!) ate their fill of Indian food. Then we went to Mikey's job site (a public housing project) for a quick tour and headed home. Tabby and I got a wonderful 2 hour nap together and then my sister picked her up and she spent the evening at my parents' house. Matt and I had date night. We went to watch Get Smart which we LOVED LOVED LOVED (we loved the original series too). We laughed like crazy. Then we went to the small Italian restaurant down the street from our house. That was sort of disappointing … my pasta was a it over-cooked and the vodka sauce tasted … not like vodka sauce. And our waitress was kind of … off. Oh well. We didn't do dessert there and had wine and s'mores in our backyard at home. We ended the night with a long walk around our neighborhood.

Today just never really … gelled. We met my mom and sister and Tabby at Snooze for breakfast which was fun. Tabby was cranky and tired all day but wouldn't really nap. So we let her nap in the car while we ran a few errands. We realized later she was running a slight fever … she's cutting a molar … and she did finally go to sleep around 7 PM. And it's just about my turn. Continue reading “TGIM??”

Another bizzzzzy day yesterday. Of course. Ran all over town, dropped off dinner to friends, picked up our CSA shares, Tabby screamed bloody murder through a very abberviated visit to Noodles & Co., I bought a new dress at Target (cuz I'm posh like that) and (due to long phone calls with various people) didn't get to bed 'till almost midnight. But I have a very abbreviated work day then I get to go play with Tabby. We have great plans for the evening – NOTHING. Tomorrow nothing is planned either, except date night! With my husband! Hope y'all have a great weekend.

Marisa tagged me (I have a cracky Mutt, know what lychees are and like rodents) for this meme… so here goes. Continue reading “Friday! Yay!”

I really want to tell you interesting things. I mean other than that “I'm really really freaking busy.” But I think my day was vaguely interesting, so you get to relive it with me.

• Woke up to alarm and promptly hit snooze and went back to sleep.
• Went to work. Had safety committe meeting where we talked about hot aerobics instructors (not kidding) amongst other things.
• Next 2ish hours are a blur of email, voicemail, snail mail and plain ol' talking to people.
• Headed out to birthday lunch with officemates at TGI Fridays.
• Went to jobsite where we are building a *huge* fire/rescue training facility. Got the VIP tour complete with orange vest. Wore Crocs on site … spent whole time watching for nails. Very interesting though.
• Went back to office, had hour + conference call with software vendor. Banged head against desk in frustration.
• Zoooomed out of the office and towards home, stopping by Target on my way to pick up misc. groceries.
• Raced inside and changed into workout clothes while Matt put away groceries.
• Picked up Tabby, hit the gym for cardio kick-boxing (Tabby played in nursery).
• Went home, made dinner for us and started on dinner for a coworker (who is going thru chemo) and his family to be delivered tomorrow.
• Ate dinner.
• Raced off to do my “before” assessement for bootcamp.
• Am in the “good to very good” range for everything from body fat percentage, visceral fat, hydration, etc. Yay me.
• Hit the grocery store on the way home to get more lemons because at 4 PM, 1 cup apparently looked like 1/4 cup to me.
• Came home, finished dinner for friends and baked a dessert (Matt helped, thank goodness).
• Cleaned kitchen because I'm slightly OC.
• Finally sat down.
• Wrote this incredibly fascinating post.

No. You can't have the last 2 minutes of your life back. Sorry.

• Matt's tire was slashed a couple of weeks ago. So far as I know, the perpetrators were not specifically out to get us or anything … it was a “crime spree” through our picturesque Truman Show neighborhood by some bored-nothing-to-do brats. I would smack them around if I only knew who they were. $200 later, it is fixed. My lust for punk* blood, however? Not fixed.
• Matt works for and we get our health insurance through the nation's largest non-profit HMO. Overall, I find it to be pretty good. But there is one thing I absolutely HATE about my dealings with them: getting Tabby's monthly perscription of antibiotics for her urinary reflux. There are a couple of ways to do it, but what usually ended up happening was I'd go down to the clinic, wait in a line to place the order, wait 40-50 minutes for her name to appear on the board and wait in another line to pick it up, then spend another 5 min waiting while the tech went to find me the dispenser cap and a few new syringes. $7 + an hour of my time. So I transferred Tabby's perscription to Target … where we are at least once a week. I told Matt I didn't care if it was 4x more expensive if I could just not lose that hour, I would be so very ham-dappy. Transferred it, and 15 minutes later they had it filled (dispenser cap built in, 2 syringes in the bag) and it cost me $4. And the people rejoice!
• My parents are taking everyone to Hawaii in August, which will be amazing, but means a 7 hour flight for a 17 month old. The doc has already approved a bit of Benedryl to encourage some sleepiness, but I am busily planning in flight activities for Tabby as well. I've found her a cute MP3 player and I've got some Silly Putty and plastic farm animals and crayons set aside, but I'm sure I've got more hours to fill. Any suggestions??
• I ordered some company-branded swag recently. Two wicking polo shirts for active sort of stuff. I ordered two colors one of which was orchid. I didn't look at the swatches, largely because they don't really mean much. But I clearly should have because the orchid I envisioned was in the pink family. The orchid I got, however, was in the orange family. Sherbet orange. Broncos orange. OFFENSIVE orange. Ok, really not that bad and really, I don't mind orange. But near my pasty German face? Awful. So now I'm just hoping that someone else at the company wants a wicking polo in orange … err I mean Orchid.
• Tabby just put herself to bed. Again. Waved 'buh-bye' to mama. Sheesh. I know where I'm not needed.

* Note, I use the epithet, “punk” here to indicate a juvenille delinquent and I am not supposing that kids who listen to punk music and aspire to the punk lifestyle are bad eggs. It could have just as easily been some jerk football player jock preppy type. Or hell, it could have been the little old lady who lives down the street (not likely, since I don't think she has the upper body strength).