Brainwashing My Kids

One of our base theories in parenting is that it’s easier to lay the foundation for a “good kid” early than fix a load of problems when they’re 15. There is at least some evidence that supports this and it makes sense to me on a gut level, so I’m going with it. As part of this, I am endeavoring to brainwash my children with some of the most valuable life lessons I’ve learned in my 31 years on this planet (many of them from my own parents who come to think of it may have been successfully brainwashing my sister and I since our formative years as well … hmmm).

When things come up with the kids, Tabby in particular as she is older and somewhat rational, we try to say the right thing so that we not only have a positive outcome but that we have a positive outcome for the right reason. If she’s having trouble with something she’s learning, we encourage her to keep going and remind her that you are best at things you work hard at, no matter how good you are at them naturally. When she gets overwhelmed picking up her room, we try not to just do it for her, but to help her strategerize on how to best attack the problem and find success herself. We advise her to save her money and refuse to let her buy junky plastic toys that won’t last.

So one of our favorite things to instill is the value of hard work and not giving up on something. One day Tabby was doing something, cleaning her room or practicing her letters or whatever and she gave up on it with hardly a second thought. It wasn’t the first time this had happened recently and I was a bit peeved. It was looking too much like a bad habit. So we talked about it and I told her that anything worth having was had to be worked for. I also explicitly told her, “Lazy is the worst thing you can be.”

After I said it, I had a moment of second guessing myself.Was it? Surely being a liar was worse. But really, what is lying if not a form of laziness? You’re lying to make things easier on yourself, right? So you don’t have to deal with what you’ve done or handle the repercussions from truth-telling. And sure, being a murderer or a child molester are worse but we don’t really delve into those subjects with our four-year-old.

Anyhow, we’ve noticed some positive changes in Tabby’s attitude toward working at something. So I think it’s working. Beyond that, I have pretty concrete evidence that she heard me loud and clear. Last week when we were at my mom’s house, Tabby wanted my mom, who was resting on the couch after hours of marathon cooking, to get up and turn on the bathroom light for her. My mom said, “Can you just leave the door open a crack. That should let in enough light. Grammy’s feeling lazy right now, Tabs.”

To which Tabby responded, quite solemnly, “Grammy. Being lazy is the worst thing you can be.”

On another, child-related note …Congratulations to my SIL Theresa and her hubby Bryan on the birth of their darling new baby girl, Autumn!! I’m so excited to be an auntie!