Every other day, practically, I make the comment “Well there goes my mother of the year award!”
I really do consider myself to be a good mom. I feel my daughter is bright, well-adjusted and generally a nice kid. I don't know how much of that has to do with me and how much of it is just her, but I give myself (and of course my great hubby and all of her other caregivers) a modicum of credit.
But I will never be the uber mom. It's just not in me. I will bake cookies with her. I will do crafts. I will kiss boo-boos and tuck her in. I will play games with her, make her her favorite dinner, read her the same book 30000 times and miss her when I'm not with her.
I will not, however, forsake all of my other adult relationships for my kiddos. I will let my husband put her to bed on his own now and again so I can kick back and read a book or watch Gossip Girl. If I get off early from work, I will sometimes go home and do a few things (even lazy non productive things) before going to pick her up. I will let her have a sleepover at grandma's so Matt and I can have date night.
I think I'm a better, more patient mom when I get a break now and again. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for my kiddo … if she needed it. She doesn't need me with her 24/7. She likes to spend time with her dad, her grandparents and her auntie and her babysitter.
And while she is my everything and always will be, she will one day go to school, get her driver's license and *sob* move out. I don't want to wake up in 10-15 years and realize I have no interests or friends of my own.
And I will certainly not reply to invitations for an adults only event with “I don't really like to go anywhere without my kids.” Honestly, I think Tabby would prefer it that way.
..and what you just posted DOES make you an uber mom. Being a great mom doesn't mean sacrificing your entire self. As you noted, you have more to give when you take care to tend to your own needs.
So…there!…Uber mom! :0)
Children are well-served to learn independence, and also to learn that their parents have other priorities in life. That's my opinion.
Awesome post. I'm not a mother martyr either. I have a few friends who have used the “I won't go anywhere without my kids” excuse with me, and although it may sound terrible, I've lost a bit of respect for them because of it. I'm a mother and I love being a mom, but I'm also so many other things: a wife, a writer, a friend, a reader, etc. and there's absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying those other roles.