Did I get your attention? Ha. I just came across a wonderful article at babble called The Breastfeeding Conspiracy. To sum it up for you (it's pretty long), it discusses the guilt and perceived benefits/reprocussions of bottle/formula-feeding instead of breastfeeding. The basic conclusion comes down to: 1) we pretty much all agree that breastfeeding is the ideal, nature-created way to feed your baby, but 2) the consequences and reprocussions of formula feeding aren't nearly so bad as they've been made out to be and 3) the perceived benefits of breastfeeding aren't as monumental as they've been made out to be and 4) whatever you choose, people should not be nasty to you for your choice.
Tabby and I never got the hang of breastfeeding. She didn't latch right. My milk didn't come in very fast or in much quantity. We worked damn hard at it for a month or so using a variety of contraptions and techniques. All we could ever really do was nurse with something called a nipple shield … that I was supposed to wean her off of after a few weeks. The weaning never happened. Everytime we tried it was a disaster. And I really gave up when I went back to work about 2.5 months after she was born. Once I was back at work, we nursed in the evenings and I pumped during the days. Breastfeeding made me ravenously hungry all the time and I gained weight while I breastfed (I am pretty certain it was breastfeeding that caused this this, because once I stopped, I lost weight and didn't feel like I had to consume everything in my path). I never produced enough milk either. She was supplemented from the beginning when she lost 20% of her body weight and that never stopped.
Around 5 months, Tabby would start screaming hysterically every time we tried to nurse. After a couple of days, I just stopped nursing her. I was determined the precious hours I saw her in the evening would not be ruined with this struggle. I was able to pump for a month or so longer and that was that. I feel that overall I made the right decision. Especially by that point, I was pretty OK with it, but in the early days I felt pretty guilty for not being able to do what I thought should come so naturally. And I had help! Lots of help! Lactation consultants in the hospital (really pushy ones as I recall). A visiting nurse. My darling husband who helped me set up for marathon pumping sessions (before and after I nursed Tabby) and fed her using this bizarre IV/tube contraption taped to his finger so she wouldn't get “nipple confusion.” But by the time it as all done, I was mostly OK with it. Still, guilt reared its ugly head for a long while with people making little comments to me here and there. A nurse at my doctor's office telling me that she might be healthier (she had a cold!) if I'd nursed 9 months instead of 6.
Months removed from the whole situation, I have a much better perspective on the situation. I will try to breastfeed when I have another baby, but I will not make myself crazy over it. Those days of infancy are just too precious to spend in constant conflict and struggle. And anyone who judges me can have a piece of my (grumpy and sleep-deprived) mind. 
Here here!!!!
I am in the middle of it now. I am the first to admit, however, that I'm struggling so hard for mostly selfish reasons. I have no problem with formula – but the idea that he'd no longer paw at my shirt when he's hungry upsets me greatly. My goal was a year, but I don't know whether we'll make it that long (my supply is VERY low at the moment). And there are a bunch of BFing holier-than-thous, as I call them, on the forums I frequent – I always just want to punch them in the face. How WONDERFUL that they have NO problems nursing and NEVER have to pump and DONT have to work – life must just suck for the rest of us.
Okay, rant done. I just can't wait until Andrew's eating/drinking regular stuff – it seems so far away, but I know it's really just a few short months.
Excellent post. Women are made to feel guilty for just about everything to do with motherhood: going back to work, seeking “me” time, and, as you point out here, breastfeeding. I was very fortunate. Breastfeeding came easy to me and to Isabella, and I was lucky enough to be home with her all the time to do whenever we needed to. But I have a lot of friends for whom it was a constant struggle, and in my opinion, anyone who pumps while at work is a complete rockstar.
Yes, breastfeeding is best. But formula isn't arsenic either. Mothers need a lot less judgement and a whole lot more understanding. Everyone has the same goal in mind: to raise a happy and healthy child. And Tabby is a testament to your success.
Judgers, smudgers….who needs it? Motherhood comes with enough challenges and the last thing any woman needs is to be guilted over her decisions about how best to feed her child.
Great post! Wesley and I never got the hang of breastfeeding either. Lani on the other hand nursed for 17 months. Each child is definitely different!!
While I was able to nurse L for 16 months, I will be the first to admit that it is a lot harder than anyone lets on. My milk also didn't come in as fast as it should have. I also used a nipple shield for quite some time. It was a major stress during those first couple of months. Luckily for us, it all worked out, but I would never ever even consider judging anyone for not bfing. I have already considered that it may not go well this time with twins, especially if they're born early. I'll just have to play it by ear.