The Symbols of Me

SymbolsI listened this morning to one of my favorite podcasts, Happier with Gretchen Rubin (author of such excellent books as The Happiness Project and Happier at Home) where she and her sister (and co-host of this podcast) discussed personal symbols. I love this idea and the graphic nerd in me immediately thought of a poster with my symbols (once I figured out what they’d be). So when I got to work, I spent the next 15 minutes coming up with this fun graphic. The meanings behind it below ….

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How I Spent My 35th Birthday

2015-08-08 18.17.04-1Six days have come and gone since my 35th birthday, but despite my blogging hiatus, I wanted to take just a minute and remember a few things about my 35th birthday.

I got up early. I’m pretty sure I worked out, but I’m not sure if it was a run or a random Jillian Michaels video. I had a granola bar for breakfast. Then I went to work.

Work that day was particularly crazy. I just turned in two proposals for projects this morning. This is not typically part of my day-to-day, but we were hit with an exceptionally crazy couple of weeks where 5 had to go in and so I took some of the heat off my colleague and wrote two of them. So on my birthday, I was busily conducting my work, making sure that all of the pieces of my two proposals were in motion.

At lunch time, I had a strategy meeting for one of the proposals. I’d asked our receptionist to order in lunch. I was a bit puzzled when my box lunch contained a chocolate croissant instead of a cookie like everyone else’s. I found out later when our receptionist dropped by my office that she’d remembered it was my birthday and asked them to give me something special. It was delicious and it was very sweet of her.

I had nice text messages, phone messages and Facebook posts throughout the day from lots of great people.

I reconnoitered with a friend on the way home to collect Tabby and she talked cheerily to me about her day the rest of the way home.

When we got home, I was feeling pretty weary. But I discovered that Matt and the kids had cleaned up the house for me. We had spent the whole weekend “organizing” which of course makes the underbelly cleaner an the surface a disaster, so it was very welcome to see a clean house. I also saw that some very dear friends who I hadn’t seen in way too long had already arrived for our evening together.

Matt made jerk chicken (one of his best executions ever!) and corn on the cob for dinner. Our friends brought a delicious salad and chocolate cake. I made up some green beans with bacon.

It was a nice evening. I even had a couple glasses of red wine. I really enjoyed seeing our friends, my sister and being with Matt and the kids. Both kids were very sweet to me and gave me snuggles. Tabby personally collected hand-washed the dessert dishes.

Our friends stayed late by current standards and we didn’t get to read a chapter of our current read-aloud book, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. But I got to give the kids hugs and kisses before bed and snuggle down just a few minutes later in my own bed with my best friend.

It was a good day.

Money Matters

moneyWhen we were driving to AZ over Thanksgiving, we listened to a lot (LOT) of Dave Ramsey and Suze Orman – that is a LONG DRIVE – among other podcasts. We are truly pretty good with money and for the most part always have been, thanks largely in part to my fiscally conservative upbringing and personal OCDish tendencies. We use credit cards only for convenience and points and we pay them off every month. We save for rainy days, college and retirement FIRST, before we even think about luxuries. We budget and save for big purchases. We know what kind of life insurance to buy and have good estate planning in place.

But we were far from perfect and we are certainly not doing as well as we could be. We could have been putting more money into paying off our mortgage early, or more into retirement and college savings. We should have been working harder to stick to our monthly budget (noun – a document with fictitious allotments for our monthly income that we never ever actually hit). To be perfectly honest, we just weren’t really paying a lot of attention to what we spent and we made dumb excuses about spending it.

So for the past two months, we’ve been really buckling down on hitting our budget numbers. It’s been a good exercise for me to do this weekly (usually on Sunday) instead of whenever the heck I get around to it (i.e. once a month or so) and instead of me doing most of this in a bubble, I’ve been involving Matt more. We’ve been a lot more careful with how often we eat out and how much we allow ourselves to spend when we do so. Fortunately, splitting a meal behooves our waistlines as much as it behooves our bottom line, a win-win.

Cooking at home is a big part of that too.  Of course we’ve been pretty good for years about cooking at home most weeknights, but things get a little dicey when we’re out and about so much during the week with kid activities or on the weekends when we’re again out and about. And it all went absolutely to heck when we were commuting back to our own suburb from the rental house.

So we’ve redoubled our efforts. All this has really meant is bit more discipline- more planning ahead to make sure we have leftovers and options for breakfast and lunch and quick dinners for crazy nights – and reminding ourselves that there’s good food at home to eat for (usually) a fraction of the cost and that it’s OK to be hungry for the 20-30 minutes it takes us to get home from lessons. It’s also cut down at least some on our food waste.

It hasn’t always been 100% smooth sailing of course, but we’ve been pretty good about defaulting to things we have on hand like sandwiches and quesadillas and not using it as an excuse to order up pizza.

Thanks to these, and other “sacrifices” we had money leftover in December (probably a first) and even more in January. It is good to see these fairly small changes having an effect on our bank account. It’s one of the areas we feel like we were forced to give up some control when the kids were small just to keep our heads above water. And now they’re older, more self-sufficient and we’re getting them back. I’m a fan.

2015 so far

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Can’t believe we’re over a month into 2015, but so far, I’m cautiously a fan. We’ve had far more days like this than icky sticky days (though we did have one that was a doozie).

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So we’ve spent a lot of time outside just loving life.

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And it’s been a bit slower, so we’ve been enjoying hanging out and doing little projects like this friendship bracelet. And all of our home projects.

2015-01-26 17.38.36We’ve been cooking more than ever, having greatly trimmed our eating out budget (more on this later).

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Easy things like easy Korean Beef with Broccoli (and tons of Sriracha) and Chicken Tagine and Hamburger/Chili Mac with Crack Broccoli.

It’s been nice. It’s been fun. I love our family. I know how lucky I am.

2015

resolutionsI think it’s always a good idea to reflect on the year that’s passed and make plans for the new year. It gets a bad rap, but I think without this conscious pause to reflect and plan, the passage of time loses its gravitas.

2014 was an interesting year for me. There was truly much good in it – wonderful times with family and friends, success and happiness, a  new home – and yet there was much that was difficult as well. I was sick a lot. I felt overwhelmed and over burdened frequently. I gained weight. I didn’t feel in control.

There were, I know, many things that contributed to this state of affairs. The decision to move so soon after Mom’s passing was possibly ill-advised. I was still in a grief-stupor when we made that decision and though I still think it’s a good one and love our new house, it was a hard time to do it. I also didn’t say “no” as much as I should have. And this led to much of the overwhelm. It’s only been the last couple of months that I think I’ve started to feel close to being back to my old self. Though I know it’s not the same, it’s better than it was and I’m hoping it will continue to get better.

So … with that in mind, I have just 4 goals for 2015. These may, over time, develop their own more specific sub goals, but these big-picture items are where I want to spend my energies and I want all of the things I do to come from these places.

  1. Be kinder. To myself and to everyone around me. I want to yell less at the kids. I want to give myself breathing room and space. I want to appreciate all that Matt does for our family without getting frustrated about what he hasn’t done. I want to have more patience with the kids when we do homework together. I want to work harder to visit my grandma more often.
  2. Keep it simple. I want to say “no” more. I don’t want to be gone every other weekend or to over schedule us so crazily that we can’t breathe and the few scant hours we’re at home are spent running 100 miles an hour catching up on housework and laundry. I want to spend more time at home, use the stuff we have and spend time reading, cooking and playing video games with the kids.
  3. Take care of myself. Continue to do the good things I’m doing and work on banishing the things that don’t serve me and my health well. Less sugar. Less processed. More hiking and biking. More meditation, relaxation and sleep.
  4. Create. I want to create more … any type of creating: blog posts, journal entries, food, photographs, sewing, doodling, crafts, ads posters and brochures for work whatever. With others or on my own.

In some cases, I have some more specific goals that maybe I’d like these areas to culminate in … like running another half marathon and/or doing another triathlon. But as part of numbers 1-3, I’m not committing to anything like that right now. I want to work on these and see where I am in a couple of months.

I hope 2015 is a great year for myself, my family and friends and all of you. Happy New Year.

Promises to Keep

6579186493_304d36d3b4_oToday marks the one year anniversary of the worst day of my life, the day my mom, the embodiment of all that was good, kind, special and amazing passed from this world and into the next.

Just a few days later, my sister and I spoke at her funeral, words that I still believe and am committed to honoring today.

We spoke of the honor and blessing that it was to be her daughter and the wonderful lessons she taught us: to work hard, to enjoy the hell out of life, to laugh much (at ourselves as well) and to not take life too seriously.

We spoke of all the things we’d miss about her … her presence, so lively and fun … her foibles like over packing for everything and indecisiveness … the wonderful times we had together … the great conversations, great meals and great fun we shared … her amazing spirit and how she cared for everyone in her life.

We said that we could spend a long time being very angry at the injustice of it all, or we could choose to be grateful for all the wonderful time we had together.

So we made the commitment to be grateful and resolved to do some things that honor and preserve her memory: read my kids bedtime stories and raise them well, work hard for the company she loved, buy myself some nice clothes now and then, continue to travel, explore and experience, ignore our housework and have fun … and perhaps most importantly, take care of each other and love our family and friends fiercely!

And so, 365 days later, I think I can say I’m a better person than I was this day last year.

I can’t ever see mom’s death as anything but a bone deep, cutting loss. I still think of her every day and it still hurts. I still hate to go anywhere near her office. And I still have terrible moments when I re-realize that she is gone and it’s almost overwhelming to bear.

But I can see that I have allowed some positive things to come from it. I’m a better, more patient mom than I was a year ago. I am a bit less concerned about the long term “good” of the kids and more interested in making sure they feel my unconditional love right now. I have gained perspective in my life. While I work damn hard for the company we both love, I will not allow it to interfere with what’s really important – the relationships in my life. I have been able to loosen up on some of my control freak ways and live in the moment a bit more. Our family, including my dad and sister, are closer than ever and we take great care of each other and really really appreciate each other … And MAN have we read the bedtime stories!

I will always wish I had more time with her. But I take huge comfort in the fact that not much of the time we had was wasted. We did, we saw, we lived it up … we loved. If not quantity, we got QUALITY, and I know how incredibly blessed that makes us.

Woa Woa, I Gotta Go … Back to School!

School2014
It was an exceptionally CRAZY first week of school.

All the things happened, practically at the same time.

The kids started school – but not even on the same day – on two different days, which led to me going to work late two days and then taking off early to pick them up two days.

Matt got sick – like actually take-a-vacation-day sick (and the other reason I was doing drop off and pickup).

I got a completely out-of-the-blue, totally-last-minute project for work that I handled while watching an entire season of Downton Abbey.

The photo shoot I had scheduled went from an estimated 3 hours long to an estimated 7 hours long to an actual 6 hours long.

I had to spend two hours on Wednesday evening at the kids’ music orientation.

Family came in from out of town.

We almost didn’t get a proposal in.

I sat on a panel (which sadly did not involve any sitting). I did not get my pedicure. I had bunco. I avoided Matt’s icky bug and so did the kids.

 

SO ANYHOW, SCHOOL: The kids are super happy with their new teachers. They are off to a great start for the first year. We haven’t even screwed up too much/many paperwork assignments and they have more or less been on time.

Ben is most excited about the cafeteria, specials (art/music/gym) and recess! Tabby is most excited that her BFF is in her class. Also, they have a field trip soon!

The kids have been crazy tired in the afternoons. I expected Ben to be a bit off, but Tabby has been just as tired if no more so! And me too. Lots of adjustments, lots of fun. The kids start music lessons tomorrow to add to the crazy. And we have more out-of-town guests for the next couple of weeks and a couple of weekend trips.

Life is good.

A

On My 34th Birthday

On my 34th Birthday, I …

  1. had a lazy morning, snuggling with my husband.
  2. had fresh peaches and cottage cheese and an apple vanilla muffin for breakfast.
  3. took the kids and the dog on a walk to the mailbox.
  4. found a dead salamander and a garter snake (the kids were very impressed) during our walk.
  5. played hooky from work and spent most of the day at WATER WORLD with the kids and my sister.
  6. had birthday cake dippin dots.
  7. had the quickest of showers.
  8. took Tabby to music class.
  9. got chocolates from my fellow music mom and good friend.
  10. picked up my darling boy from karate.
  11. went home and made dinner and ate with my family.
  12. practiced the piano with Tabby.
  13. drank tons of water because I was so parched from a whole day in the sun.
  14. got tons of lovely messages, phone calls, emails, etc. from the wonderful people in my life.
  15. cleaned up my new kitchen.
  16. helped Matt unload his car of more random stuff from our rental house (and put most of it away).
  17. handed over some of our (many!) moving boxes to our friends who are renovating their kitchen.
  18. watched an adorable video of my niece wishing me a happy birthday.
  19. worked on clearing out the boxes in our bedroom.
  20. missed my mom.

Thanks to all of you who made my day so very special.

Father’s Day Bombs Away!

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A few days before we were going to celebrate Father’s Day (about a week behind schedule since we were in New Orleans on Father’s Day), I saw a post on FB from our local magazine, 5280 about the B17 that was going to be at the Centennial Airport that weekend. Since my dad is a big history buff, specifically into WWII, I knew we had to take him.

1Not only is it an authentic B17, but it’s one of the few remaining ones in the country that can still fly. The whole event was a bit on the squirrely side (hard to find, etc.) but once we got there, we got to see it land and then take a tour!

4It’s a really interesting thing to see technology of this era. It’s amazingly outdated and oddly advanced all at the same time. And what our pilots did with it was amazing!

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And it’s just really cool to look at.

6Dad of course had tons of questions and really enjoyed chatting with the volunteers that were there to show us around.

2It was a fun and serendipitous kind of day. I loved finding something for him he loved so much!

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Perfection

done - perfectI am a bit of a perfectionist. You probably wouldn’t know it by looking at my house … or my desk …or my life. But I am. And part of why you probably wouldn’t notice it is because I spend a lot of time trying to perfect things instead of just being done with them. Or sometimes, I spend so much time thinking about doing them that I never actually get around to doing them. It’s not good. But I really feel like over the past year or so with everything that’s gone on, chiefly my new job and our house situation, that I’ve become quite a bit better about calling it quits when it’s time and moving on, figuring out when the returns have started diminishing. Just a few things I have learned to chill on:

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